When I grow up...

Before I start, I am very lucky to live in a place that I don’t stress about the rent.
I've worked really hard and have oodles of luck to get to where I am and I own that privilege.
I am a feminist who blogs, and that is only one part of me, so don’t bother telling me to get back to doing my "real" writing, this is me too.
Sorry to start on a negative note, but with the followers come the judgers. Bless 'em.

At present our house needs very little attention. By choice I have a herb “garden” in inside pots and an assortment of year round plants on our wee balcony.
Other than that, our laundry is in a cupboard, and the biggest sink is the kitchen one.
We have about 60cm of bench space and the oven doesn’t get hot enough to bake with (great for slow cooking meat and grilling though).
There is so little kitchen space we just never bothered buying a toaster and we only have one drawer for utensils, so new stuff isn’t really bothered with.
It has taken me a while to settle in to appartment living, but it fits our lifestyle perfectly.
I am often away for work a couple of days a week, my partner works Mon-weds out of our home city and we like to go away for when we can.

When we go away we literally just walk out.
When we come back we walk back in with fresh milk and bread.
It’s so EASY.
But every now and again I wish I could do some baking.
Or make toast without having to keep an eagle eye out to stop the stove burning it.
Or just have some silly frivolous kitchen item.

So here it comes; a moment of nesting lust.
If I were a grown up, with a “real” house....

We would be able to throw dinner parties, and be seated at a dining table.
Because we would A) have a dining room and B) own a table!



We could make toast without keeping an eye on it – because we would have a toaster.
Preferably a sexy one like this...



With an oven that works, I could bake and make kitsch cupcakes and personalised cookies.



I could have cute little oven mitts – like these ones which appealed to my orthopaedic passions.



And with cupboards that have more than 4 shelves I could own more than the cheapo flat grater.
This wee mouse doubles as a AWWWWW moment as well as a grater.




But the reality is that until I am literally pinned down by the weight of a foetus and can no longer leave the house, this is what the dream kitchen/house would look like.



So I think I will stick with our small yet perfectly formed apartment with my art crammed on the walls and not enough storage area.
I use everything here. No waste.

And after all, the bedroom is great ;)

NZ Home Safety Week. Cause for alarm or laughter?

Thanks to ACC a handy reminder that it is Home Safety Week.



I had to have a bit of a laugh at the web-site, whoever was in charge of editing clearly didn’t aim it at those already at home.
In the “Families” section these were the suggestions…

Encourage Safety At Home
There are plenty of things an organisation can do to motivate your colleagues and customers to take an interest in safety at home. Here's a few:
• Make home safety an agenda item for team meetings
• Put a poster on your message boards
• Put a home safety message on your staff payslips each month/week
• If you buy your employees a Christmas present make it home safety item such
as a non-slip bath mat or fire extinguisher

Ahahahaha!
I would love it if I got paid to be my own cleaner.
On the other hand, I would NOT love a non-slip mat for my Christmas present, so perhaps this should go in the “businesses” section

On re-reading I realized the advice was so workers would GO HOME and sort things out.
But why not just have clear advice and ideas for people who already work at home, as a home office or as parents?

By the way – pay slips is two words, not one.

On the upside, there is a lot of great info, and it is all relevant and important.
People would do well to worry less about sharks and flying and more about ladders, uneven carpets, and watching the stove while cooking.

If you have kids who like clicking the computer mouse the “Danger Rangers” Game is very cute and quite engaging. Turn the sound down for your own sanity though!

For your Home Safety Entertainment I present (drum roll please)

SCUBA NURSE'S HOME SAFETY TIPS.
Top tips to avoid falls and alcohol injuries at home

1. Wet bathroom floors are slippery, so use the bathroom mat to wipe up by skating around on it on one foot yelling Weeeeee… as you do it.

2. Ladders can tip easily, so make someone you are not that attached to do the high up stuff (mother in law perhaps?)

3. Polished floors can be like ice rinks, so make the most of it.

4. Stairs you can’t see can be dangerous.Open eyes while having sex on them

5. Chairs are for sitting on, not standing on. If you need to reach up high, use a mother in law.

6. Cords can become tripwires, so use them to set up ambushes for possible burglars or unwanted guests.

7. Glass doors and windows are hard to see, so clean them well, grab a beer and a comfortable seat, and enjoy watching girl guide biscuit sellers, Mormons, and insurance sales people hit them at speed.

8. Nothing ruins a party like an injured mate, so provide a room to put them in, so people don’t have to watch them bleed or complain.

9. Don’t let your guests get smashed and injure themselves – get them drunk enough that they roll easily if they fall.

10. An addition of my own. Don’t over-fill the bath with toys, choose just one favorite, such as the toaster, and keep the bath free of clutter.

PS I’ve done this to highlight home safety, and have a bit of a laugh, not to be mean to the ACC people. Enjoy the humor and for real advice visit the real site!!