Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Online dating is for WINNERS. (also, people who dont like being vomited on)

My actual last messages on dating forums…
Try to imagine the chirp of crickets after each one...

I love opera

No, racism isn’t really something that I’m into.

No when I say I’m involved in community I mean I volunteer, not that I am involved in the TV show.

Um, I do identify as a feminist.

Have you tried geocaching?

I didn’t fill in the “kids” question because I think that planning children is more of a first date thing.

Sorry, I don’t collect miniatures (in response to a penis photo)

I’m going to stop you there. Domestic violence jokes aren’t as funny as let’s say, cancer.

Sorry, but your photo of you posing with a gun creeps me out

Sure, here is a photo of me.


Why do I BOTHER? My weird hobbies and high standards, and witty sarcasm are a good thing right?
The reason I have decided to try online dating.

Because actual last comments while meeting men in bars…

Please don’t touch me

Please don’t grab me

Get your fucking hands off me

I can’t understand what you are saying

Ewwww, gross (after someone vomited on my feet)


So yeah, I’m trying internet dating.
Don’t judge me, it’s not the worst option.



  1. Apparently it's that time of year for internet dating misadventures!
    Sounds like you're getting more than your share of dweebs though.
    11/10 for the miniatures joke. You must be on NZD because I don't think they stand for that on OkCupid.

  2. Thanks for the ratings on my fab zingers. I feel like there need to be people with score cards rating all my weird interactions

    1. no, its a uniting feel knowing that people can see your side, and you arent going insane. the humor, support and laughter is helpful.

    2. Righto, just checking. It's hard to tell tone on the internet. Keep the zingers coming.

      I hope you don't have anything like what I experienced last week - nobody expects the Inquisition, but that appeared to be what I got when I saw my date (she didn't recognise me) take a seat at a table with a couple of people I didn't know. Dating while introverted is hard!

  3. It's a tough world out there when you're dating! I'm giving online dating a shot and so far, no winners!
    Good luck!

  4. I looked on my online dating period as a fascinating anthropological experiment. Also, the different dating websites have very different cultures (I was on 4 of them). I used to like comparing how a particular man framed himself on each one - very revealing!

    Have fun!

  5. If it helps, I met Eccentric English Boyfriend on FindSomeone, and we've been together eight years now.

  6. awwwww! Selina, that DOES help! :) x


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