Unsuccessful IRL…

Keyboard warriors… people with nothing better to do… SJWs, unsuccessful IRL… not helping in the REAL world…

I quit one of my volunteer roles last week and cried hard about it. I will miss the people I work with, the fun we have, and the identity I held as a volunteer for that organisation. But one of the strangest reasons my volunteer work is important to me, is that as a feminist online the above phrases are used to undermine my comments. I am particularly sensitive to the idea of “simply bickering online” rather than getting out there and “really making a difference”. Frankly, it gets to me.

This is bizarre, because during the day I literally save lives, and since I was 16, I have always had a volunteer job as well as my paid role. I have no reason to feel vulnerable to any accusation of lack of action, and yet it gets to me.  Congrats Jerks.

In the future I may not always be well enough to do a paid job, let alone additional work on top of that. My wellness may deteriorate and I may be stuck at home, “just” online.

And to that I say THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH.

In fact, it’s not only good enough, the communication of equality, equity, fairness, and justice to your community is PIVOTAL. Without good marketing, the best brands fail, and we need a good comms team for the decency of humanity. The other side may not have particularly good communication, but they make up for it in the sheer amount of filth they spew onto the net each day.

When we look at the Violence pyramid above, far fewer people are actually assaulting and physical hurting people than there are making horrible jokes, degrading other people and using problematic language to perpetuate issues. So for every person out there literally saving lives, we need 100 at home explaining to Uncle Jack that his emails are gross and offensive and no one wants them. 50 people need to be online showing their friends that they CAN speak up to racist FB posts. 20 people should be on twitter, expecting more of allies, and speaking up for people being harassed and abused. 5 need to be brave enough at work to ask a colleague to explain how that offensive joke was funny.

The people working at the public face of activism are pivotal, they are important, and even if that IS all they do, it is of value.

To expect more of anyone is rude. It is ableist and objectionable. Most people have lives, families, jobs and health to take care of. The fact any of us have time for this, which we can do from bed, is an unpaid miracle and yes, we have things we would rather be doing!

So next time someone uses “they have nothing else in their lives” or “not really helping” as a critique –think twice about supporting them.

It's PC gone mad, the feminazis are winning...

I’ve found it fascinating watching the men and women around me and on social media discussing a high profile case this week.

Roger Sutton resigned from Cera after sexual harassment claims were made.

There has been an overwhelmingly male chorus singing from a familiar song book. I may be being unfair to men, in that in most cases they spoke over the top of, or instead of women, so the women may have shared their view – I just didn’t hear it. These voices were at work, on radio panels (I’m looking at you RNZ) and on social media. The songs were “it’s PC gone mad” and “he is a really nice guy” “He is really well respected” “he is just a touchy feely guy”.

Most people are.                

 Very few people have their friends and colleagues spouting off to the media about what an asshole they are. Most people have a place where they fit in and feel at home. Most people have mates who think they are a good bloke, a top guy, a bit of a hard case.

It doesn’t mean that for some people they aren’t a danger, an unsafe person, a creeper, that person at work that you avoid. And just because your mother/colleague/wife loves you, doesn’t mean you aren’t a total asshole to someone else.

I would really like people to remember two key things.

      1)     It’s REALLY important to remember that safe is a movable line, and it is set by the receiver of contact, not the giver.

      2 )     Creepy out of line behaviour doesn’t happen because people are always sneaky. It happens because people are entitled and the people around them let it happen.

Here is an easy example of that movable safe line…

People who catch crowded commuter trains in Japan will feel safer with someone standing close next to them on public transport than people that commute on NZ trains. Your personal bubble is what you are used to, and it is often the same among people of the same living environs/culture. But even within a one similar group, not everyone is the same, and direct physical contact beyond a basic handshake should be carefully evaluated. People who have their personal safety violated in the past will not feel safe with hugs from randoms that might be seen as totally okay by the other 60% of the workforce.

As a self-aware professional, it is part of my job to assess how I interact with my colleagues just as much as I do my clients. I can easily go a day without physical contact and come to work for the next twenty years. Missing out on physical touch is nothing compared to the feeling of someone encroaching on your personal space and feeling like you are in a constant state of defence. People need to stop seriously thinking that their right to touch others as they see “normal” is equally important as someone else’s right to NOT BE TOUCHED WITHOUT ASKING.

Any sense that your way is the best way and people should just accept your behaviour involving their space and body is a massively entitled view. This is an especially odd view when you consider that most of the men I was listening to today were deeply concerned at their rapidly vanishing super important right to act how they choose at work. So they DO UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAVE RIGHTS.

Our right to feel safe just isn’t as important as their right to do what they want.

Heads up lads. You will know when the feminazis are winning, and it won’t be because you can’t harass us at work. It will be when you are held accountable for those actions and the population stops seeing you as a nice guy for it. I'm gonna add in an extra wish that the media ceases it's witch hunts of women who dare to complain.

It doesn’t seem that extreme to me. But then, what would I know?

Please feel free to fill in this survey – it is asking about your experience on both sides of the equation, so by all means, if you are feeling hard done by because someone has complained at work, fill it in.

Shouting from water skis

Sometimes being a woman in a male dominated field feels a bit like trying to teach from water-skis.

No water-skis are not the best platform to teach from.

No people don’t hear you as well over the roar of engines and water.

Yes, you will probably fail more often

You lose people’s attention more when people are focused on where you are rather than what you are saying.

It’s exhausting, and even the easiest lesson is hard to do from a difficult place to stand.

 

But if that is the ONLY space you have to teach from, and people will watch, because of the spectacle then what are you going to do?

Quit and lose your voice and audience?

Fight for a better space and risk people refusing to tow you?

Or carry on and hope like hell eventually someone sees how stupid this is and gives you a more appropriate space to teach from in the future.

 

All of the above options are entirely legitimate, and I wouldn’t judge anyone who took any of those options. I also don’t blame people who don’t even go into those spaces because they aren’t well enough, fit enough, have enough time, or can deal with the stress of such an unpleasant work environment.

Refusing to work on skis isn’t unreasonable.

Refusing to provide a better space for women to work and have a platform IS.

 

 

 

The fact that some of our most interesting scientists in New Zealand (I can name Siouxsie Wiles, Christine Winterbourn, Heather Hendrickson, Margaret Brimble, and Judy O'Brien off the top of my head) are not seen regularly in our media is a damn waste, and frankly it’s a bit of a surprise that even Souxsie with her bright pink hair and award for science communication is mostly under the mainstream radar.

 

Dr Dickinson is getting there, and she is getting there on the shittiest water skis possible. BUT SHE IS GETTING THERE.

While we watch the rubbish she has to deal with, hoops she has to jump through, and unreasonableness of her environment, let’s take the focus off the stunts she has to pull, and on why that’s the ONLY SPACE SHE HAS FOUND AN AUDIANCE.

 

Because I’m pretty damn sure that if anyone had any kind of choice, they wouldn’t work with people who undermine them, degrade them, and bring their personal life into a professional discussion. But we do.

Because that is the only space we have.

 

Let’s stop pointing at the women who are the spectacle and start looking at why that’s the only space women have voices.

 

 

This post is cross-posted to The Hand Mirror

Doing the wrongest thing for the right reasons.

Several times in my career I have had to do things to a patient so cruel that I was physically ill afterwards. Both times they were lifesaving measures. Something that made the difference between life and death, and something they had no memory of later.

At the time though, they experienced it, fought it, and lived that horrible moment.

But they lived, with good outcomes. They and their family were grateful for the care we gave and the interventions that were used.

I still occasionally have nightmares about one of them.

In my day-to-day practice I hold a person’s hand and talk soothingly to them until they are unconscious, whereupon I make a remarkable transition from a kind hearted person to looking at the patient to a nurse seeing them as a puzzle needing to be solved. Intubation tube in. Catheterisation done. Patient positioned as required for surgery. Dislocate the hip for better access. Suction. Diathermy. Sutures.

We do awful things to people

Awful.

Well documented, fully researched, best practice, global standards of awfulness.

It’s not until I am at the pub and make a flippant comment related to “burning the patient” and have to explain that it was deliberate and totally ok, that I realise how truly messed up what we do is.

Actually, what we do isn’t messed up, it’s how we get our heads around it that is messed up. Everyone varies in how they cope. But I PROMISE that if you know and love a nurse, that they disassociate in some way, in order to do what needs to be done on a daily basis. The alternative is the disturbing concept that they are ok with doing what they do to a person that they get to know.

So next time you ask someone who cares about you to look at you like a patient, and diagnose or help you Please don’t get upset if their face goes oddly blank, and they give their answers in a way that doesn’t seem entirely like them. And do not get cranky with us because we are unsympathetic. You are asking us to do our job. To look at your body as a just a sum of its parts, a puzzle to be solved, a problem to be fixed. We can’t CARE how it feels. We can empathise, but not sympathise.

It’s an important differentiation.

They are looking at you like a patient, because if we cared when we had to do what we do, it would rip us to tiny pieces every day.

One Woman’s ‘emotional’ is another Man’s ‘passionate’.

If ever you need to see sexism in the way the media report on leaders who are women, keep an eye on Hillary Clinton’s activity in any news article around the world. Currently the Secretary of State is being questioned in the congressional hearings about the attacks on the USA diplomatic compound in Benghazi  September 2012.

Here are some terms used to describe her tone, actions and behavior. I have pulled these from a variety of news outlets over the last week or so.

 

Descriptors used for Senator Rodham-Clinton

Heated voice

choked up

Exhausted

Anger

Described her “Chopping arms”

Mad

Strong emotional toll

Emotional and fierce

Frigid veneer

Screeched

 

The men mentioned

Tough questions

Calm,

Tough,

Dogged  and successful

Passionate

When they spoke the word “said” was the describer.

 

So when they were described as “calm”, she had a “frigid veneer”.

When they were tough, she had a “heated voice”

When they were passionate, she had “chopping arms”

When they were dogged and successful, she screeched.

 

Let me clarify. This write up is irrelevant to how I feel about Senator Clinton. (Honestly – I have mixed feelings about her.) It’s about how I see powerful women portrayed in the media.

How their ideas are represented. Opinions slanted and demeanor reported for the sake of “humanizing” the person. How often do we bother to “humanize” male leaders by reporting on whether they are tired or not, what they are wearing and describing their tone?

Not often, which makes me think that “humanizing” someone is just a charming phrasing for “dragging them down to our level”.

So next time you see one of our leaders described in the government house, take a look at the language used.

It’s a powerful tool, to humanise, dehumanise, or just plain undermine someone’s statement.

Royal Society of New Zealand 2012 Research Honours Dinner

The annual awards evening celebrating top NewZealand researchers was held at Auckland Museum on Wednesday.

Huge congratulations to Distinguished Professor Margaret Brimble, CNZM FRSNZ, School of Chemical Sciences, The University of Auckland, who last night became the second woman to win the Royal Society of New Zealand's Rutherford Medal.

She was quoted by Fairfax at stuff.co.nz

“I am personally very pleased that New Zealand has now recognised me, not for being a woman in science, but for my science.”

The Rutherford Medal was awarded to chemist Professor Brimble, for her world-leading contributions to the synthesis of bioactive natural products.  Part of her work in chemical sciences has been research benefitting those who have experienced brain injury by modifying a naturally occurring peptide found in the brain after an injury, which helps to prevent secondary cell death.

 If you are interested in reading more about her research, please go to the university website for more information.

Other women who won during the presentation of thirteen awards on Wednesday night were:

The Dame Joan Metge Medal for excellence and building relationships in the social science research community.

Professor Linda Tuhiwai Smith, Pro Vice Chancellor and Dean of the School of Māori and Pacific Development, University of Waikato, for inspiring, mentoring and developing Māori researchers.

Professor Janet Holmes FRSNZ, Chair in Linguistics, Victoria University of Wellington, for her outstanding contribution to linguistics.

 

Congratulations to all the winners on Wednesday night, you are inspirations.

I am going to try and focus more on the amazing work of New Zealand women, who, unless they are in film and television tend to slip through the cracks of NZ media, making small headlines no matter how outstanding their work is. Those who are already in their field appreciate them for the work they do, lives they change, and ideas they bring forward.

I will be recognising them here with the original drive due to the fact this is a feminist space, but in the hope that the circle of people who appreciate the work being done will widen. Please don’t hesitate to link to further information on the work these women are doing, or information about their achievements.

International women's day 2012

In honour of international women’s day 2012, I have decided to write about what it is to be a woman in New Zealand, and more specifically, this woman in New Zealand.

My Voice.
New Zealand women are allowed to vote. The 1893 women’s suffrage petition resulted in the Electoral Act of 1893 which gave New Zealand (and Cook Island) women the right to vote. This is in comparison to:
1902 Australia
1906 Finland
1913 Norway
1915 Denmark (which included Iceland at the time)
1917 Canada, Lithuania, and Latvia
1918 UK,Hungarian democratic republic, Moldova, and Ireland
1919 Armenia, the Netherlands, the Ukrainian SSR, Southern Rhodesia, and Luxembourg
1920 USA and Albania.

Side note: women did not win the right to run for the New Zealand elections until 1919, 16 years later.

Being allowed to vote may not seem like a unique or pivotal thing in my life, but it really is.
For two reasons: One, that I take my right to vote very seriously and enjoy participating in discussion around what is happening in NZ politics.
Secondly, I am really proud of what New Zealand women and Kate Sheppard managed to achieve by obtaining the vote for women. It is a sign of good things in this country, tangible proof that this tiny country can start a wave of hope all around the world and be a trend setter.


Education.

I completed high school with a bursary qualification, and I went on to complete a degree.
Kate Edger was the first woman in NZ to earn a university degree in 1877.
In the proportion of adults with bachelor’s degrees or higher, New Zealand ranked fifth equal (with Denmark and Canada) out of 30 OECD countries, with a rate of 25 percent. This was above the OECD median of 20 percent. Countries that had higher proportions of adults with tertiary qualifications at this level included Norway (32 percent, the highest rate) and the United States (31 percent). Australia (24 percent), the United Kingdom (23 percent) and Ireland (21 percent) had lower proportions than New Zealand.
Among 25–34 year olds, New Zealand ranked fourth with 33 percent having tertiary qualifications at bachelor’s degree level or higher. This was above the United States and Australia (31 percent), Ireland (30 percent) and Canada and the United Kingdom (both 29 percent).
New Zealand is among the 25 OECD countries in which females aged 25–34 years are more likely than males of that age to have tertiary qualifications at bachelor’s degree level or higher.


Working.

I work a 40 hour week as a registered nurse, a secure role with a heavy physical work load and high expectations of behaviour and professional growth. This workforce is an unusual one with women making up only 95.5% of registered nurses (Ref Kai Taiake nursing journal).
I’m really lucky because although nurses have the second highest rates of workplace injuries, New Zealand has a system called ACC which means that if I get hurt working to help other people the government (theoretically) has my back, supplying health care and rehab, and covering part of my lost wages. Unfortunately as I have a new diagnosis of Arthritis, most of any future claims I may have to make are probably going to be refused on the grounds that I have a “pre-existing condition”. This is a load of ass in a lot of cases, but urgh, I have to pick my fights. It is a fallible system, but it is significantly better than life without that particular ambulance at the bottom of the cliff.
In my career I have little interest in a management role, as my specialised clinical role provides a wonderful sense of satisfaction which I would lose if stuck behind a desk.
In nursing management roles = 4.1% of male nurses
In nursing management roles = 3.6% of female nurses
The New Zealand Nursing Workforce; A profile of Nurse Practitioners, Registered Nurses, Nurse Assistants and Enrolled Nurses 2010
Nursing council of NZ
The downside is that at the age of 30 I have hit the glass ceiling financially in the field of my choice. It is intensely frustrating knowing that I have so much knowledge, and love to improve and learn, and there is really not too far to go as far as financial remuneration.

There was a promise made by the New Zealand government internationally of 50% gender parity in government-appointed bodies by 2010, which has not been met and has now slipped to an 8.5% gap.
At this point as far as I’m concerned THIS is where I want to see improvement within employment for NZ women, because the government CAN make these promises and demands. The private sector cant and probably won’t make the same promises of gender parity, (and we could debate the good and bad of that til the cows come home) but the government can.
I would love to see our government showing employment equity and providing their workplaces as a great example of what we can do with strong numbers of women in, and leading the workplace.


Family.

I’m unmarried, and am lucky enough to have a family that wouldn’t care if I never married (whatever the reason). This hasn’t really been a problem here, however if my partner needed decisions made on his behalf due to illness or injury, his absent family members would warrant more response than I would within the legal and medical systems.
As defacto partners who have lived together for more than two years, here in NZ if we separate we are legally able to separate assets in the same way we would have to if we were married.
Given the wage difference of around 10.5% between men and women in New Zealand (NZ stats 2011) this agreement does favor the female in a heterosexual relationship without children, (obviously only if there is an income difference in the male partner’s favor). I’m pretty sure that most people in my situation walk away with what they came into the relationship with; NZ is not a particularly litigious country.


Kids.

Due to life opportunities, travel, work and reliable contraceptives easily obtained (since I have a car and only work 5 days a week) I have not yet have children, this is not unusual since the The median age (half are younger and half older than this age) of New Zealand women giving birth is now 30 years, compared with 26 years in the early 1960s.
In the March 2011 year, women aged 30–34 years had the highest fertility rate (125 births per 1,000 women aged 30–34 years), followed by those aged 25–29 years (108 per 1,000) and 20–24 years (76 per 1,000).


Social life.

NZ is still light years behind where we should be when it comes down to how women are treated in the community and viewed in the media. If I wear shorts or a skirt above the knee I WILL have someone honk, shout, or make a comment. Women in positions of power are treated like crap by the media, and their views are secondary to a briefing on what they are wearing and eating at the start of every interview.
Women who are single at my age are questioned on their relationship status at every social gathering, and those of us in relationships will be asked about kids. It doesn’t matter how rude either of those questions are. It is like there is a little vomit that has to happen at the beginning of any social conversation.
Women are judged on how they dress and how much they have drunk and this spills over into the legal system. Cases of rape have never even made it to court, because a woman was too scared to report/persuaded to drop charges due to a state of inebriation at the time of assault. Cases have been lost because of the victim’s traceable history of ‘promiscuity’ through online dating.
This is BULLSHIT, and needs to change. Slut-shaming is not ok, and I think the NZ feminists stepping up and questioning how women are portrayed in the media are awesome.


My health.

Health care in NZ in a lot of ways is very good, with one major flaw when it comes to women’s health – Abortion.
Abortion is governed by the NZ crimes act. No other medical procedure is treated this way.
If I need an abortion here in New Zealand I would have to see a doctor, lie and claim that the pregnancy and subsequent child would cause mental health issues. I would then be referred to a second doctor for a second tick to say that I would be batshit crazy if forced to proceed with the pregnancy. I’m super lucky because my GP is already an obgyn, but if they weren’t, I would have to ensure the second doctor was either/or a gynecologist or obstetrician. (Can anyone say rising costs?)
More than 98% of all abortions in NZ are given on the grounds of mental health… these statistics shouldn’t be so skewed by reports led with lies.
I would then need to make an appointment in order to actually have the required procedure.
Although abortion is legal here in NZ, these clunky laws with all the requirements that overlook an adult’s right to make choices about their own body undermine my legal status as an independent adult.
THIS is room for change here in NZ, and something I am willing to put my voice and face behind in our future in order to keep moving forward in women’s rights.
If you would like to see abortion decriminalized, you can join ALRANZ too.


So there ya go,
Just another kiwi woman, not on the top, not on the bottom, just here.

Happy international women’s day.

I’m definitely a theatre nurse.

When some-one stabs you with a sharp needle covered in a strangers blood, because they aren’t concentrating, and your response is... Oh, don’t feel bad, these things happen.
You are probably a theatre nurse.

When you walk into a house you are thinking about buying and you automatically check the ceiling…
You are probably a theatre nurse.

When you can talk for hours about topics that don’t involve anything controversial, or go for days without speaking until spoken to…

If it is a choice to brush your hair before work, because no-one will know if you don’t…
You are probably a theatre nurse.

If your nails never grow long enough to bite because of the chemicals you rub on them hundreds of times a day…
You are probably a theatre nurse.

If you can hold around 5 kilos of weight in a strange position for hours at a time…
You are probably a theatre nurse.

If, when your foot starts getting warm and wet, you just assume it has fallen asleep rather than checking if something warm and wet is leaking on it…
You are probably a theatre nurse.

If your idea of funny is body fluids in someone’s shoe…
You are probably a theatre nurse.

All my love to all you OR nurses out there.
Kia Kaha.
x

Women's Choice 2011 - Suffrage eve debate follow up.

A review of the questions and answers.

On Thursday the 22nd of September the Women's Choice 2011 Suffrage Eve Debate took place in an Auckland university lecture theatre with a wonderful mix of over 100 attendees. A speech was given by Dr Judy McGregor, the EEO Commissioner, who did a wonderful job of chairing the evening.

The party reps were:
National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
ACT - Kath McCabe
Mana - Sue Bradford

Three minute stump speeches from each party, were given followed by written questions from a variety of women's organisations, as follows.

NB: I was trying to scribe this with no skills in shorthand, and didn’t do the greatest job. (partly because some pages were smudged with tears of laughter from a very entertaining evening!)
My apologies for any mistakes. The below is paraphrasing of key points as I could catch them, and sometimes it was a bit of a challenge!! If I have missed something or made mistakes, please feel free to email me with changes and I will update this ASAP
I hope you enjoy this review.
Scuba Nurse.

Q From the Campus Feminist Collective
What are the parties doing to empower people who are struggling financially, such as single parents on the DPB, to attain qualifications that will allow them to support themselves and their families? An example of such a a measure would be the discontinued training incentive allowance.

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
Support for life- long learning.
Does not agree with cuts to education for those over a certain age.
The access for older people in training needs to be reviewed.
Restore funding for the training incentive allowance.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
This is an attack on beneficiaries, stop this.
Being a sole parent is doing a job twice and people should have enough money to live on and get training.
Raise the status and value of the parent and sole parent.

Mana - Sue Bradford
Mana is respectful of training.
Reinstate the training incentive allowance.
Lower tertiary fees
Lower student loans
Total overhaul of the benefits system is needed
Universal tax credits.

ACT - Kath McCabe
Why has the quality of education gone down? (Audience member called out “It hasn’t!”)
Funding is going to the wrong end: funding is being spent on student loans not the education providers.
Need to review student allowances
Close to the maori party on some points here.

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
Values education as a liberator
Early childcare available for those who need to get back to school/ work. Especially in areas where attendance is low
Training incentive allowance Level Four National Qualifications Framework courses or above no longer applies.
Focusing on basic numeracy and literacy as a focus.
Student support as a priority.


Q From the Working women’s resource center.
What will your party do to improve the working situation of women who are forced into casual and/or contract work rather than proper employment and who don’t get sick pay, holiday pay, parental leave, professional development or job security.

Mana - Sue Bradford
Collective bargaining is essential.
Unions have been undermined by national.
Committed to do everything they can.
The right to strike returned to workers.

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
This type of work is becoming prominent, and this is deliberate.
We need to increase rights to strengthen collective bargaining.
The reason women are concentrated in a precarious environment is because they have to seek flexibility to care for families.
Flexible working arrangements to help families would go a long way.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
The root of the issues is contracts. They are very bad for women.
Monitoring of women’s work situations is needed.
Collective bargaining should be improved
Equal pay
Not being allowed to discuss contracts means that inequalities continue without question.
Used the example of warner brothers.

ACT - Kath McCabe
Not sure that people are *forced* into casual and contract work.
People choose their work places and plenty of people don’t get sick or holiday pay – they are self-employed.
Used the building industry, and low work levels for said builders as an example of the above.

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
The 90 day trial is helping with this. Migrants and youth and parents are positively affected.
Most people who get jobs retain them, it is working well.
It gives women a chance


Q From the Women’s health action trust.
The government currently has an amending bill in the house which aims to relax the provisions of the 2008 employment relations (breaks, infant feeding, and other matters) amendment act which required employers to provide breaks and facilities (where reasonable and practicable) to support women to breast feed while employed.
What is your party’s position on this?

ACT - Kath McCabe
The key here is “where reasonable and practicable”. Few women are making the hard vocational choices.
Her company has just hired large numbers of international engineers because "New Zealanders won’t take the hard jobs".
Dirty, filthy industrial sites are not appropriate for breast feeding, and women wouldn’t want to feed there.

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
Under current law, mothers have the right to ask, and the employer must respond in a timely fashion.
If not, action can be taken.

Mana - Sue Bradford
The mana party would not support any weakening of the current laws.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
"If we are going to discuss dirty high paid jobs, what about parliament?"
One woman breast fed there.
When we talk about support and what is reasonable and practicable, it needs to be what is reasonable and practicable for the BABY not others.
The problem is workplace leaders who don’t have tits and want to make a profit.

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
Thought amendment being referred to is about workers breaks, rather than specifically breast feeding breaks, but unsure.
Women have kids, and would like to breast feed. We need to support this.
Clean up the workplace and make it safe, for EVERYONE, including breastfeeding mothers.


Q From the YWCA
How will you recognise and address disadvantages faced by our Māori communities’ especially young Māori women?

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
Recognises gender and ethnic issues.
Policies need to recognise different needs.
When you break down the wage gap beyond simply gender, into ethnicity the disparity for Maori and Pacific island women becomes even more graphic

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
“Honour the treaty, don’t call me sweety”
Women are discriminated against in the system.
Address the issues and listen to tangatawhenua to ask what THEY want rather than having policy makers who are removed from the issues telling them what to do.
Go to the Hapu and Iwi to consult.

Mana - Sue Bradford
This is a huge problem and the whole of Mana’s policies are focused in these areas.
Respect and self determination
Education gives women a place in the world.
People need wages to live on and should not be separated from their home communities because the system said they cannot return.
Empowerment is key.

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
Referenced the whanau ora policy.
Additional money is needed for additional providers.
Money has been reprioritised for sexual health, teen pregnancy etc.
On the recent media interest in Sex ed, having viewed providers, they were professional and innovative, with accurate info.

ACT - Kath McCabe
"Jackie covered most of it."
Upset by the way young Māori women are characterised by this question.
I know highly regarded women from the Māori community, (gave examples of many high powered roles)
Successful Māori are not celebrated.


Q From ALRANZ
Our 36 year old abortion laws are medically outdated, what action would you like to take to reform the law?

ACT - Kath McCabe
Personally supports decriminalisation.
It will be a conscience vote, and my choice is that it should remain a personal choice.

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
As a former GP she helped many women decide what to do, no one does it lightly, it is a difficult decision.
Supports it being in the health act
Abortion is the choice of a woman and her health provider.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
There should be a review, there is currently no Green party consensus.
Personally believes it is a health issue, not a criminal one.
Working on a Green party agreement.

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
Supports the women’s right to choose.
Safe abortions are currently available but she strongly supports change to the current law which only provides safe abortions to those who are having to work with an unwealdy system, having to lie about their mental health.
Community clamour is needed for this to be reviewed.
Keep pushing for change.

Mana - Sue Bradford
There is no party agreement but she is personally pro-choice.
There is more support needed for pre and post counselling as there is not enough support for women who make that choice and have to go through such a hard time.


Q From the National council of women’s Auckland branch
What is your party’s strategy to reduce increasing poverty in NZ and to close the ever widening gap between rich and poor?

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
Not with tax cuts for the top 13% or financial bail outs for Canterbury finance that is for sure.
Commitment is needed
Work on the welfare system
Increase minimum wage
Job creation and quality education

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
This is of vital importance for a fairer society
The gap is growing, there are kids in poverty.
Need to lift minimum wage
Take GST off fruit and vegetables.
1st $5 earned should be tax free
More collective bargaining
Putting funds into research and development and increasing jobs.

Mana - Sue Bradford
Economic justice to lift the income of those at the bottom.
Tax free income threshold for those below the minimum wage
One off hardship benefit by Christmas, which Kevin Rudd did in Australia
Trust routs need to be tackled – the rich are hiding income.

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
Getting those back to work who can work.
Off benefits and back to work
Lift wages and increase economy
Want to keep entrepreneurs and companies here in NZ – supporting businesses.

ACT - Kath McCabe
Recognise that welfare is not for the upper and middle class.
Gave an anecdote of a wealthy family receiving money from “working for families”
Target welfare to those who need it.
GSC2 conditions with trading partners which means difficulty exporting and employing
State is poor at picking winners
Incentivise and assist.


Q From Auckland women’s center.
Given that MMP has drastically improved women’s political representation in parliament, why doesn’t the national party support MMP?

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
That is incorrect. National believes that the choice of voting systems is up to the voters and has chosen to leave the choice to them, without comment.


Q From the Auckland coalition for the safety of women and children.
Many of the changes and cuts that national have made in the last three years have impacted negatively on women and also made it more difficult for them to be safe from abuse.
What will your party do to improve women’s lives and provide more safety for women?

Scuba Nurse: Massive apologies, but my phone ran out of battery and lost this page of notes when it closed unexpectedly..
Does anyone have this?

Q From the Women’s network of NZEI Te Riu Roa
What policies will your party have to help maintain quality public education?

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
A strong commitment to public education, the first four years of a child’s life are very important.
Critical of cuts to ECE
No one would tolerate high schools where 30% of staff are unqualified, why tolerate it in ECE?
Pro training incentive allowance.
Scrap national standards, replace with REAL standards.

ACT - Kath McCabe
Support the institutions not students for funding.
Sweden has an process initiated by the political left where funding was given to parents, not to the students; and funds were wasted less.
Improved quality of education and empowerment of parents.

Mana - Sue Bradford
All levels of the system need support
John Minto heavily involved in writing their work with this.
Abolish national standards.
Reject public/private partnerships in education.
Recognise Maori/ pacific island special needs. These are currently under recognised.
Update Te reo Maori

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
National values education as a liberator.
1.4 billion is coming to ECE
They are targeting communities with low participation.
1/5 of youth are leaving school without basic education – this is not good enough.
Student loans should remain interest free, but there should be criteria.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
Student loans system is flawed.
National standards are not needed.
When they went direct to the users (10-17 year olds) they didn’t want national standards, or particular types of education. They wanted quality relationships with their teachers.
Education needs to be relevant.
Racism should be addressed in schools
Centres are closing due to funding changes, so how can national claim no funding cuts?


Q From Feminist action.
Our justice system results in an abysmal conviction rate for sexual assault. How would your party address this problem?
Mana - Sue Bradford
A special taskforce for sexual assault was discussed for a long time. If Mana was part of the next government they would pick up on those recommendations and get New Zealand out of the dark ages.

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
The victim levy has been a success with $50 paid by perpetrators of crimes going towards services for victims.
The minister of women’s affair’s interventions have informed policy development
ACC is providing 16 counselling sessions to those affected by assault.

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
The taskforce needs to be fully picked up and acted on.
Improve court processes
The current government haven’t done much.
ACC has been a traumatising experience for those who had to fight for their right to support.
Long term comprehensive approach is needed.
A commission should be made up from the special taskforce for sexual assault and the task force for family violence.

ACT - Kath McCabe
One problem is the police themselves.
After the unfortunate actions of the past, a commission of enquiry has gone some way towards dealing with the issue, but people don’t want to go to the police for help when they have their own issues.
A female minister of police is a good step.
When the accused can cross examine the victim, the system is appalling.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
Special victims task force good hearing from minister, but not on the ground level.
After the recent incident with a comedian there is no faith in the system and people are having to think seriously about whether they want to put themselves or their children through this horrific system.
Simon Power has other ideas
Need a cross party consensus.


Q From the Tertiary Education Union’s women’s sector
The literature is clear that high quality early childhood education has significant beneficial benefits for those children and society as a whole. The funding for ECE however has been savages under National/ACT.
Will your party increase funding in this area, particularly in low socioeconomic areas where the impact of provision of high quality ECE would make the most impact?

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
It wasn’t savaged.
This funding is the most the ECE has ever had.
Focus has been largely on areas with lower participation.
3500 new ECE places.

Mana - Sue Bradford
Mana has strong policy in this area and is passionate about increased funding for ECE and education led groups.
No public funding for profit led early childhood education.
Increase the provision of support for struggling areas.
Have ECE promote the link with schools in the same area.
Review and refocus on te reo Maori.
An annual audit on Te reo Maori providers is needed to keep a level of quality.

ACT - Kath McCabe
Don’t impose the governments will on the decision of parents to choose education providers
Struggling family’s need support and second income, and ECE supports both parents working.

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
There is a big announcement coming, and so cannot speak too much on this.
20 hours free.
It is not true that there haven’t been cuts
Facilities with 100% qualified staff are being penalised under current funding.
Ensure that all children have the best possible start.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
There is a profit industry of baby barns.
Mothers are being forced back out to work, and this is not a victory for feminism.
80% of Maori and Pacific Island are just applying to the nearest provider rather than choosing. The market is deciding, rather than it being parent driven.
Not good enough.


Q From the Service and Food workers union. Nga ringa tota women’s sector.
Pay equity is not about individual women negotiating a better deal for themselves but about whole groups of workers who are paid less simply because most of those doing their work are women. It’s about valuing the work women often do, like caring for our most vulnerable citizens.
What specific actions would your party put in place, should you be in government and in a position to implement these, to lift the wages of caregivers and other mainly women workers like cleaners?

ACT - Kath McCabe“I am going to rephrase the question.”
Met a Russian surgeon who said that in Russia the majority of surgeons are female, and truck drivers are male. Surgeons ended up lower paid than truck drivers because women’s work is not valued, no matter what it is.
This is a perception problem.
Adult rate for youth means less jobs for youth.
The issue is 2/3 the recession.

Labour - Carol Beaumont MP
Increase minimum wage.
Narrow the gap.
Promote equality in the workplace.
We need roles traditionally seen as women’s work valued. If women take “men’s” jobs to try to increase income, who will be the caregivers?

National - Dr Jackie Blue MP
Lift all wages.
Hard times, national policy is needed to strengthen national industry.
Boost the economy, support businesses and increase education and skills training.
Pay gender gap is because women are in low paid roles
The Gender pay gap is at 10.6% which is the lowest it has ever been.

Greens - Catherine Delahunty MP
The statistics mentioned by Jackie can be read in so many different ways.
Structural help is needed. Bring back recommendations and actually implement them.
Test wages.
A structural commitment should be given.
Pansy Wong says women need to talk about rugby and be a plumber, but women and their work should be valued in their own right.

Mana - Sue Bradford
The incident with Alasdair Thompson exposed how employers think.
We need to lift wages now!
Workers in sectors that are undervalued need support, they are “invisibilised”.

2) The anatomy of a panic attack

NOTE:

I have four pages of scattered disjointed writing in my “latest blog” file in word.
It is all about my struggle with depression over the last few months.
I realised today when I sat down to start writing again properly that none of that was ever finalised and put into this blog.
So for all the people out there with depression, and for those who love people with depression; these posts are for you.
As the week progresses, more posts will go up, and they will be numbered, from earliest (furthest in the past) to most recent to make it easier to keep track.
I hope that they help you see light and hope, and possibility. Because even if it can’t be seen now, it is there, and you WILL find it. You just have to stick it out today. Tomorrow will come.

I’m in a small room, waiting for the people I’m supposed to be meeting.
I started thinking about the things I need to get done, the stuff I haven’t got done. The things people are expecting from me and how I will disappoint them this week.
What a terrible partner I am to be so focused on my work.
My grandmother hasn’t seen me in ages and she is going downhill fast.
My friends seem distant – I need to see them more, but I’m so TIRED.
I flash rapidly between guilt and resentment. Nothing I am doing makes things better, I will never be good enough, I need MY space MY time.
Was this room so hot before?
Jesus, the room is so fucking small.
I can’t seem to get on top of things. Such a loser. Perhaps I should give up.
Gah, I can’t follow through on things. People will call me a quitter.
Even if they don’t, I will know.
Quitter.
Why am I so sweaty?
I can’t breath.
They should be arriving any minute now. I need to think about the work I’m about to present.
Keep calm, be professional. Shit I’m sweating.
Now I will have marks on my blouse and they will KNOW I’m not calm.
They will realise I can’t cope. They will know I’m not good enough, old enough, experienced enough.
Just not enough.
Why can’t I fucking breath?
My chest hurts.
I need air.
Don’t these windows open?
I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t.
Weak weak weak weak. I can’t breathe, I can’t talk.

I can’t cope.

Sent out a message on Twitter.
Terrible jokes and messages of support allow me to step out of the vortex and think outside my own head for long enough to loosen the bands tensioning around my chest.
I get the job done and head to my hotel room to collapse in bed.
The next day I get up and it starts again, but today, you were my saviours.
I owe you my professionalism, my image, my mental health and my greatest thanks.

People who step up to an “I’m not ok” message do more than they ever realise.
Follow these people, they are awesome… and I send all my love and blessings to
@noir_angele
@FallenRedNinja
@RachelRayner
@Billie_Mae
@LaurieFleming
@pulpkorn
@bluemilk
@mymilkspilt

With a very special mention to @StarrLitLove who not only responds to cries for help but oozes her fabulous positivity all over the internet at Courage Hope Strength.
I go there most mornings to start my day with a positive note.

Catch 22

I’m not very happy in my job right now, and a lot of that stems from the fact that I have transitioned from being a low level expert to a low level idiot.
This new role uses so little of the skills I am trained in that I am raw potential and fuck all else.
My instinct at the moment is to cut and run. I’m sick of not being great at what I do.
I’m sick of explaining why I’m always a beat behind what is happening because I don’t know enough about the industry to anticipate.
I’m sick of people who are lazier, less motivated and significantly less moral than I being better than me simply because they have rested on their laurels in a role for the last ten years and know it backwards.

I came to the realisation yesterday that my work ethic has screwed me over again.
I want to leave.
I won’t until I can hand over a ship-shape vessel.
So I need to stay long enough to get a firm grip on the role and tie up any loose ends.
Which means by the time I let myself resign, I should be past this phase of idiocy.
Which means I’m stuck.

Crap.

Who is questioning whom?

Last week over a glass of wine I was subtly (or not so subtly) insulted by a friend.
Her question?
Do you ever worry that people will perceive you badly once they know you are a Feminist?
My response was “are you worried that I will perceive you differently having heard you saying that?”
She looked baffled, and quickly changed the topic.

I work in an industry where if we stop selling our products we no longer have jobs, and perception is everything.
We recently did a seminar on branding. Not just branding our industry, workplace and product but also ourselves.
It made me think about my own personal brand, how I dress, communicate and express myself with both my colleagues and staff that I am teaching.
Part of this is my identity and how much of that I give away.

Deliberately I don’t give much away at all. My friends at work know I am living with my male partner, that I am interested in musical theatre, that I love the beach, belong to a gym, write for a “women’s interest blog” and that I had a car accident in the past.
My colleagues I don’t socialise with know I have a partner, used to be a nurse in the OR and am based in *******. Further out from there and I hope all they know about me is my work ethic and education/professional history.

My beliefs have very little part in my workplace.
In the same way that when I was a nurse I had to give good, empathetic care to drink drivers and child molesters; in business I have to be pleasant to red neck assholes and over privileged men.
All of this is much easier if they don’t KNOW I think they are assholes.

Information is power, and the less people know, the more they will assume that you agree with them while you smile and nod, and the more they will tell you- therefore the more power you have.

So actually, yes, I do worry that people will judge me by the labels I give myself.
So I try not to use them.
For example I use partner, not boyfriend because it is none of their business what level my relationship is at, or who it is with.
I don’t discuss my politics and unless I am seriously pushed I don’t identify my beliefs.

I found it interesting that disclosing that she was concerned about the image of feminism revealed more about her than it did me.
I now assume she may not stand up for herself, that she may not put her career first, that she is perhaps not particularly interested in fostering mentoring in medicine and business for young women.

Not fair assumptions.
Certainly not positive.

It is interesting how much we give away just by questioning someone else’s identity.

Tits and Teeth, or why perverts have a lower IQ.

There is a saying in show biz...
“Tits and Teeth ladies!”
Translation? Don’t forget to smile and stand straight.
For a very cheerful person with an 14 E-cup rack like me it’s not something I have to consciously try for, and quite often something I get judged on without even realising it has happened.
Hunting for work clothes involves keeping eyes open at all times for items that cover without looking like I’m wearing a mumu. If I do find something both flattering, that fits, and that covers the girls I buy two or more in different colours.
As long as I look tidy, and shoulders, cleavage and legs are covered I'm happy.

Last week I was away at a work conference.
There was a black tie gala night where I knew there would be a parade of wealthy women in designer outfits, and there was an expectation of high level dress.
I tried on every dress in NZ (or so it felt) and even tried making one in a bit of a last minute rush.
Eventually I grabbed a basic dress which I planned to wear a top under because the bust portion just didn’t provide enough coverage.
While in Melbourne I found a dress in my size just like I was hoping for. Black fabric with a hint of shine and a heavy weight to support a curvier figure it ended at just above the knee and was a V neck with wide straps. With a bust reducing bra, it was just within the boundary of sexy but not inappropriate.

I was going to include a photo here but honestly, having spent the night being “slut shamed” I cringe at every picture of me, and feel that typical kick of adrenaline and taste of vomit in my mouth.

The dress was supposed to be worn with a bust reducing bra which accidentally got left in Melbourne in my hotel room.

So on the night I panicked... what to do?
Wear the other dress with the t shirt under? No –what a waste of the new dress
Wear the new dress with a t shirt under? No. That’s going to look silly.
Wear the dress without a bra and risk breasts heading south, or worse north when I dance? Not a chance!

So I put on the most appropriate bra I could find and looked in HORROR at my image in the mirror.

I looked lovely.
Knock out lovely.

Attract too much attention lovely.

This neck line would have been frumpy on a C-cup but on an E my bust was under pressure and so formed two globes (not in season this year ladies – far better to have empty drooping bosoms with bony clavicle between.)
So the dress wasn’t low cut, but it sure did show off the area.

I gave myself a pep talk in the mirror about it being no worse than a strapless dress on a skinny girl. I reminded myself that there would be plenty of stunning necklines and I wouldn’t be the only one and even measured the distance between my nipple edge and the neckline above it to reassuring myself that the fabric came right up to a good height (12cm/5 inches to be precise).

I held my head high and walked out the door.
Within 3 minutes of arriving (after saying hello to my boss but before getting a drink) a male co-worker who works not only in a different office but a different country was posing in a hilarious fashion for photos staring at my tits.

Gosh that’s so funny. Nothing quite like having to laugh at some ass-hat’s idea of a joke, when you are actually feeling harassed.
I jokingly posed for another picture holding his head straight in front and laughed to diffuse what felt like one of the more awkward moments in my life.
After that it was comment, after comment, after comment.

“Great cleavage”
“Nice to know you can party with the best of them”
“WOW”
“You are letting your hair down.”
“Your tits are AMAZING.”And of course the visual jokes, ogling, pretending to motorboat etc.
A few of the women made comments – none ‘bitchy’ to give them a bit of credit.
“Great assets”
“I wish I had cleavage like that”
“Holy cow, you are going to have all the attention tonight”

The thing was, I stayed sober, was behaving myself and didn’t know half these people.

The country manager bless her; looked me up and down and said “That dress is gorgeous – I’d ask where you got it, but I wouldn’t look half as good on me”.
Flattering; but not about one specific part of my body.

I spent the night wishing I had a shrug or shawl, and eventually went and cut it up on the dance floor with the girls, rather than sitting and waiting for the next (what felt like) attack.

What amazed me was that another woman wore a dress that was literally down to her navel – one of those glamorous ones that have a split between the breasts.
Not one comment.
NOT ONE!
Other than the fact that her dress had less overall coverage the only main difference was that she was almost entirely flat chested.

So I wore something not hugely different to anyone else but because of my bust size (which I can't choose) I spent the night feeling like it was my fault if I attracted men like flies.
They couldn’t possibly help themselves from being creepy – they were “right there”.

Interestingly enough the most brilliant men and women in the room, the ones in the top of the company were pleasantness in itself and held long and interesting conversations without once mentioning or staring at my breasts.

It seems susceptibility to creepiness is linked with a low IQ.

If I was giving myself advice I would be yelling about the behaviour of my colleagues and giving me big hugs.
But from this perspective I just felt ashamed and embarrassed.

In fact, I still do.

I’ve been very careful to say I “felt like I was being harassed” not that I “was being harassed”, because I did, and do feel like I was to blame.
What is wrong with this picture?

Do you want a raise, or maybe just become another middle management douch?

Thanks to the hard work of the women in previous generations we no longer have to look at stupid ads playing on our fears and insecurities in relationships. – Please enjoy the following selection for your viewing amusement and/or sadness.







So as I was saying, Women are out there, in the world, liberated, working, playing and living as equals. Leaps and bounds ahead of the previous drivel right?

However, every now and again advertisers step away from the mundane world of bikini babes and beer and try and step into our world of liberation and try and SCREW IT UP.



This really makes me mad.
By all means, hit the old stereotypes we haven’t won yet, but don’t come onto my professional turf and shit on the lawn, thank you very much.

This charming ad was sent to me by a friend in the states, apparently it ran in the USA’s Women’s Weekly mag.

Among some more helpful tips, number one on the list of "How To Ask For A Raise," is this advice:
"It should start with your usual routine and all the things you do to feel your best, including showering with Summer's Eve Feminine Wash or throwing a packet of Summer's Ever Feminine Cleansing Cloths into your bag for a quick freshness pick-me-up during the day."

A little bit of Wiki history on douching etc…

In the late 1920s Lysol disinfectant began being marketed by maker Lysol, Incorporated and distributor Lehn & Fink, Inc. as a feminine hygiene product. They intimated that vaginal douching with a Lysol solution prevented infections and vaginal odor, and thereby preserved marital bliss. This Lysol solution was also used as a birth control agent, as post-coital douching was a popular method of preventing pregnancy at that time. The use of Lysol was later discouraged by the medical community as it tended to eliminate the bacteria normal to the healthy vagina, thus allowing more robust, health-threatening bacteria to thrive, and may have masked more serious problems that certain odors indicated in the first place...
In the US, from around 1930 to 1960, vaginal douching with a Lysol disinfectant solution was the most popular form of birth control. US marketing ads printed testimonials from European "doctors" touting its safety and effectiveness. The American Medical Association later investigated these claims. They were unable to locate the cited "experts" and found that Lysol was not effective as a contraceptive.
So basically it was a cleaning product marketed to solve all those tricky lady issues like smell and babies. Perfectly convenient except for the latter problem it just blatantly didn’t work, and for the former the argument is still raging as to whether it does more harm than good.

So specific to this ad rather than the products themselves; what the hell were they thinking?
The funniest bit for me is the fact that number 7 is as follows…



Don’t get too personal.
Good advice.
Slightly undermined by the fact that they in the first instance suggested that your boss might be sniffing around your undercarriage at some point.
…Creepy?

For the final part of my rant I’d like to mention that most vaginas are perfectly happy with a daily wash of the OUTSIDE (the vulva) with some kind of mild soap and water.
Washing the inside can be harmful (see below) and if there are any offensive smells they can be signs of ill health and should not be masked and ignored, but taken to the doc to get checked and treated.

For anyone who has come to this site due to an ill-targeted Google search on Douching please find the following info courtesy of the College of Family Physicians of Canada

Is vaginal discharge normal?
Yes. Glands inside your vagina and cervix (the opening to the uterus, or womb) make small amounts of fluid. This fluid flows out of the vagina each day, carrying out old cells that have lined the vagina. This is your body's way of keeping your vagina healthy and clean. The discharge is usually clear or milky and doesn't smell bad.

The colour and thickness of the discharge changes with your monthly cycle. The discharge is thicker when you ovulate (when one of your ovaries releases an egg), when you breastfeed or when you're sexually excited. During your period, menstrual blood mixes with the discharge.

What changes may be a sign of a problem?
Changes that may signal that something is wrong include an increase in the amount of discharge, a change in the colour or smell of the discharge, and irritation, itchiness or burning in or around your vagina. This is called vaginitis. A discharge that's stained with blood when you're not having your period could also be a sign of a problem. These signs may need to be checked by your doctor.

What may cause these changes?
These changes can occur if the normal balance of healthy bacteria in your vagina is upset. Many things can disturb the balance of a healthy vagina, including douching, feminine hygiene sprays, certain soaps or bubble baths, antibiotics, diabetes, pregnancy, infections, aging and intercourse.

Why is douching harmful?
The chemicals in douches may irritate your vagina and change the normal balance of healthy bacteria in your vagina. Douching can also spread an infection into the uterus, increasing your risk of getting pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID is an infection of the fallopian tubes that can cause you to be unable to have children.

Douching isn't needed to be clean. Smells you may notice often come from outside the vagina (vulva). Keeping this area clean with gentle soap and water can prevent smells. See tips on cleanliness.

Tips on cleanliness
Bathe or shower regularly and pat your genital area dry.
After using the toilet, always wipe from front to back. This may help prevent
getting bacteria from your rectal area into your vagina.
Avoid feminine hygiene sprays. These sprays may cause allergic reactions.
If you feel you must use a spray, limit how often you use it and avoidspraying it into your vagina.

Don't douche.

Avoid coloured or perfumed toilet paper, deodorant pads or tampons, and bubble bath.

Be sure to remove any tampons you use. A forgotten tampon or pieces of a tampon can be irritating.

What is a yeast infection?
Small amounts of yeast fungus are often found in a healthy vagina. But if too much grows, it can cause a yeast infection, or vaginal candidiasis. Possible signs of yeast infections are listed in the box to the right.

Yeast infections usually aren't caught from a sex partner. You may be more likely to get a yeast infection if you use antibiotics, are pregnant, have diabetes, or stay hot and sweaty for long periods. Some women get frequent yeast infections for no obvious reason. Yeast infections aren't harmful, but they can be painful and itchy. Yeast infections are usually treated a cream that you put into your vagina with a special plunger or a pill called a suppository that you insert into your vagina. Medicines in a cream form can be used on your vulva to help relieve the itching on the outside.

Signs of yeast infections
White, cottage cheese-like discharge, especially inside, on the walls of your vagina
Swelling and pain outside your vagina, on the vulva
Intense itching
Painful intercourse
Burning when urinating (peeing)
What is bacterial vaginosis?
Bacterial vaginosis is usually caused by Gardnerella vaginalis bacteria. Why some women get this infection isn't clear. It's probably not caught from a sex partner. Sometimes, women with bacterial vaginosis can develop PID or have an abnormal Pap smear. Possible signs are listed below. Bacterial vaginosis is treated with antibiotic medicine, usually a pill, available through a prescription from your doctor.

Signs of bacterial vaginosis
A white, gray or yellowish vaginal discharge
A fishy odor that is strongest after sex or after washing with soap
Itching or burning
Slight redness and swelling of the vagina or vulva

Signs of trichomoniasis
A watery, yellowish or greenish bubbly discharge
An unpleasant odor
Pain and itching when urinating
Most apparent after your period

What is trichomoniasis?
Trichomoniasis, also called "trich," is caused by an organism called Trichomonas vaginalis. You can be infected but have no signs for a long time. Men who have trichomoniasis rarely have any signs. Possible signs of trichomoniasis in women are listed above.

Trichomoniasis is usually caught by having sex without a condom with some who has trichomoniasis. It can get into your urinary tract and cause a urinary infection. It's usually treated with antibiotic pills.

What about other infections?
Two sexually transmitted diseases, chlamydia and gonorrhea, can also cause vaginal discharge. These are infections of the cervix caused by bacteria. Sometimes the only symptom in women may be an increase of vaginal discharge. Chlamydia and gonorrhea often cause no symptoms at all in men. Both of these infections can be treated with antibiotic shots or pills.

Tips on preventing vaginitis
Wear cotton underpants during the day. Cotton allows your genital area to
"breathe." Don't wear underpants at night.
Avoid wearing tight pants, panty hose, swimming suits, biking shorts or leotards for long periods of time.
Change your laundry soap or stop using fabric softener if you think it may be irritating you.
The latex in condoms and diaphragms and the sperm-killing gels that are used for birth control can be irritating for some women. If you think one of these things is a problem for you, talk to your doctor about other types of birth control.
Avoid hot tubs.
When infected, avoid sex so that you and your partner won't pass the infection back and forth. If you do have sex, use a condom to help prevent the infection from spreading.