I recently had a
conversation with a friend about the fact that they don’t want to identify as a
feminist because they like wearing makeup. They care about their appearance,
they enjoy playing with face paint (as I like to call it), and they are sick of
the shit they have been getting for it. (Before this starts a minor riot of sub-tweets,
my friend lives in the USA, she is not part of the NZ feminist circles.) The
conversation made me angry.
Mostly angry at people
who would push a woman away from supporting their beliefs because of how she
presents herself. But also angry at her, for thinking a small group of women,
who identify as feminists, ARE feminism.
And it made me think about how those of us who identify as a sub group,
niche, clique, activist circle, coven, or whatever you want to call it protect
our domain.
And I want to shout
FUCK THAT.
For me feminism is
simple.
Equality. Equality
between all people across the gender spectrum. And yes, my personal way of
going about it tends to be reminding women what they have the right to, and
reminding men to have respect.
Some feminists protect
women.
Some feminists argue
with men.
Some feminists fight
the system while some work within the system, undermining policy that protects
imbalance.
Some feminists show their
colours on the outside.
Some feminists have to
conform so that they can get into spaces that are not “safe spaces."
Some feminists use pseudonyms,
some don’t.
No one person pops out
a fully formed feminist. It's a learning experience, growing and changing
and developing as you do. I suspect as I become more disabled with age that my
feminism will evolve with it.
There is a massive
range of feminists, and combined, they make up the thriving vital varied
growing mass that is feminism. None of them has the crown of Feminist Super
Queen. There is no supreme feminist of which we can all aspire to. There are
only ideals, and millions of different people who seek to fulfil them in a
myriad of ways.
Over and over again I
see feminists dismissing each other because they don’t have the same brand of feminism.
Not educated enough, too rough, too brown, too white, too trans, too pretty,
too privileged, too inexperienced. I’m pretty sure I’m too fucking bossy.
There is a huge
spectrum out there, and there are feminists that I don’t like the behaviour of,
or the personality of, or the ignorance of, or I don’t like their choices. Me
not liking them has zero impact on whether they are a feminist. The only thing
me liking them changes is whether we are friends.
Interestingly enough
the only people who loudly proclaim to be feminists that I genuinely want to
strip of their badges and send them back to feminism school are the TERFS, and
they aren’t advocating for equality. They loudly denounce trans women as less
than cis, and yet they never seem to think they are less feminist for it.
Chances are if you are
questioning whether you are a feminist, you probably are. And if you don’t like
someone else’s brand of feminism, then don’t hang out with them. Keep looking;
keep being honest about what you think. Keep reading, keep learning, and
eventually you find your tribe.
There are very few
things that make me think someone cannot be a feminist. And they all come back
to undermining the equality of people.
Quite frankly, if you
are telling someone they can’t be in your cool feminist clubhouse, that’s pretty
damn unequal isn’t it…
Image thanks to the talented Skottie Young - BUY A PRINT!
