Showing posts with label sexist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexist. Show all posts

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Shouting from water skis

Sometimes being a woman in a male dominated field feels a bit like trying to teach from water-skis.
No water-skis are not the best platform to teach from.
No people don’t hear you as well over the roar of engines and water.
Yes, you will probably fail more often
You lose people’s attention more when people are focused on where you are rather than what you are saying.
It’s exhausting, and even the easiest lesson is hard to do from a difficult place to stand.
 
But if that is the ONLY space you have to teach from, and people will watch, because of the spectacle then what are you going to do?
Quit and lose your voice and audience?
Fight for a better space and risk people refusing to tow you?
Or carry on and hope like hell eventually someone sees how stupid this is and gives you a more appropriate space to teach from in the future.
 
All of the above options are entirely legitimate, and I wouldn’t judge anyone who took any of those options. I also don’t blame people who don’t even go into those spaces because they aren’t well enough, fit enough, have enough time, or can deal with the stress of such an unpleasant work environment.
Refusing to work on skis isn’t unreasonable.
Refusing to provide a better space for women to work and have a platform IS.
 
 
 
The fact that some of our most interesting scientists in New Zealand (I can name Siouxsie Wiles, Christine Winterbourn, Heather Hendrickson, Margaret Brimble, and Judy O'Brien off the top of my head) are not seen regularly in our media is a damn waste, and frankly it’s a bit of a surprise that even Souxsie with her bright pink hair and award for science communication is mostly under the mainstream radar.
 
Dr Dickinson is getting there, and she is getting there on the shittiest water skis possible. BUT SHE IS GETTING THERE.
While we watch the rubbish she has to deal with, hoops she has to jump through, and unreasonableness of her environment, let’s take the focus off the stunts she has to pull, and on why that’s the ONLY SPACE SHE HAS FOUND AN AUDIANCE.
 
Because I’m pretty damn sure that if anyone had any kind of choice, they wouldn’t work with people who undermine them, degrade them, and bring their personal life into a professional discussion. But we do.
Because that is the only space we have.
 
Let’s stop pointing at the women who are the spectacle and start looking at why that’s the only space women have voices.
 
 
This post is cross-posted to The Hand Mirror

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Win a wife? WTF?

Recently the NZ radio station "the rock fm" started their "win a wife" competition.
The whole thing has horrified me on so many levels I have chosen to write the letter below to the station and also letters to their key advertisers.


Dear promotions and marketing team at the Rock FM.

I am writing with my concerns about your Promo - Win a wife.

I realize that you are expecting me to get my “Panties in a bunch” as quoted on your promo page, and regret having to fulfill your expectations.

I am going to assume that you are so ignorant to women’s safety and health issues internationally that Im going to have to start with the basics.

Your competitions should be targeting your ideal audience.
You have removed all straight women, all married men, all engaged men, most men in a long term relationship, all men with a sense of honor with regards to women’s rights.
What’s left?
What a wonderful target audience you have there!

Did you do your research on companies or is this paid for by the company you are pimping out on the front page of the promo?I’d love to know how you chose the company, by all means do enlighten us...



It is all well and good to send kiwi men over there to pick out a wife and in the scenario you are most likely to try and put forward, the women are all brilliant, happy, yet lonely ladies, who just want a man. Not so desperate for escape from a destitute life that they would marry a stranger.
And even if that IS the case I would like to know what information about the Man you are sending is given to the woman he is matched with?
Criminal history? Spousal abuse history? Possible STDs or major transmittable health issues such as hepatitis?

Historically, IMBs have declined to provide any information about their male clients to the women with whom they seek to match them; and, in fact, this one-sidedness has been a selling point.
A New York based advocacy group called Equality Now demonstrated it in stark terms in 1999, when they sent a blanket email inquiry to dozens of IMBs, claiming to be from a physician who had assaulted two ex-wives; his email asked whether this history would be an problem.
Out of sixty-six responses, only three IMBs turned him down, and only two others expressed serious reservations about taking him on as a client; a few actually praised him and commiserated regarding the occasional need for violence when it comes to keeping women in line.
Among the responses:

“Having also been accused of assault by western women, who are usually the instigators of domestic violence I can tell you: A) don't let it bother you and B) most Thais avoid confrontation, Buddhist philosophy, so they are not likely to start something that may end in violence.” (www.loveasia.com)

“Thank you for your open and honest letter. I believe we all have skeletons in the closet and do not let them fall out when we meet someone. When I look into my past it also does not look too rosy. In heated arguments we all say and do things we did not mean, it does not make us a bad person. What I am trying to say is, let the ladies get to know the real you.” (www.russianwives.com)

“We are an agency and our purpose is to try to help people meet each other. We never refuse any clients that come to us with the exception of incarcerated people. So the answer is yes we will do our very best to help you, as we do for everybody else, but you should try to work on these problem you have for your own benefit and the benefit of your future wife.” (www.missright.com)

Do you have any idea of the negative history of ‘Mail order Brides’?
In 2000, the killing of a twenty-year-old woman from Kyrgyzstan named Anastasia King, whose husband turned out not only to have had a restraining order against him from a previous mail-order bride but to be seeking a new, third wife through an IMB.

In 1995, of a Filipina named Susana Blackwell, eight months pregnant, whose husband gunned her down outside a Seattle courtroom on the last day of divorce proceedings.

In 2003, of a twenty-six-year-old Ukrainian named Alla Barney, whose husband stabbed her to death in front of their young son's day-care facility

I realise that if I was to be callous that in the scope of abuses against women these cases are a drop in the can.
Nothing really if you are just looking at the statistics.

The Problem is that SOMEONE WAS PAID TO ALLOW THESE KILLERS ACCESS TO THESE WOMEN.
Domestic violence and abuse is never ok.
To profit, knowing full well that you are doing nothing to prevent possible future cases is downright reprehensible.


Shame on you.




If you would also like to submit your concerns the contact details are below.
Advertisers will be added to as time goes on.

paige@therock.net.nz – promo and sponsorship
kristy@therock.net.nz - marketing
paul@mediaworks.co.nz – sales

Advertisers:

Unitec - media@unitec.ac.nz
Best foods, I wrote a note on their website
Living Social website - help@livingsocial.com
Trademe jobs - mediaenquiries@trademe.co.nz
Eye lasik - admin@aucklandeye.co.nz
Issacs cider - LNIsales@lion-nathan.co.nz
Ashley and martin hair centre - Auckland@ashleyandmartin.co.nz
Caltex – still seeking contact details.
Air New Zealand American Express Platinum card - still seeking contact details.

Audi New Zealand - Has written in to say they are not involved in the promo but continue to have ads on the same page as the Win A Wife page http://yfrog.com/h4x83oikj

Grab One, Harvey Norman and Go rentals have distanced themselves, but are continuing to advertise either on their website or radio station.




To support go to: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stop-the-Rocks-Win-a-Wife-campaign/125406027531398

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

#thingswomendontdoanymore. Or why twitter makes me want to kill.

A bunch of other writers and I had no small measure of frustration this afternoon when we realised there was a hash tag on twitter called #stuffwomendont doanymore.
It was an exercise in frustration; please check out the drivel we got to see below, if you ever question if feminism is still needed your answer is there.
Eventually I had to stop the steam coming out my ears and the hurt I felt for the women who are stuck with assholes who write this stuff.
I had to remind myself of the saying I use when getting wound up about other people’s opinions...
“Does their opinion MATTER to ME?”
The short answer was NO.
The long answer was that as long as they are people who are teaching their Sons and Daughters that they have “their Place” in the world and should stay in it, or they are subjecting their partners to these narrow minded archaic values then YES.
Very much yes.
Because although one idiot in Middle America doesn’t personally impact on me, they do impact on the community around them.
That is why I implore you to quietly point out when someone is out of date, out of a safe place, or just plain old out of line.
Below the “negative section” there is a “positive section”.
Cudos to the Women (and men) who got on there and tried to turn it to a more positive note.
And thanks to the Men in my life who said “yes you can, you will and we will get out of your way while you do!!”
I love you all.
x


The Negatives...

@GimmyKisses: #thingswomendontdoanymore: Stay at home cookin & cleanin. Guys be forced to do it sometimes.

@ike3467: #thingswomendontdoanymore buy condoms

@RKingPan: RT @Jay_2_da_Shep: #thingswomendontdoanymore cook n clean without being asked

@Futuristic24: #thingswomendontdoanymore use their mind

@MKBabyyy: RT @DrChokolate: #ThingsWomenDontDoAnymore know how to cook. They only kno how to make noodles and hot pockets now :(

@theoneeupper: RT @BrainsEatBeauty: #ThingsWomenDontDoAnymore ➜ Value our bodies. Stop treating yourselves like a public water fountain & letting everyone take a sip.

@ISMACKSTARS: RT @JaeREALOFFICIAL: #thingswomendontdoanymore STiCK WITH ONE GROUP: THESES HOS CHANGE TEAMS MORE THAN TERRELL OWENS

@MissCeeBitches: #ThingsWomenDontDoAnymore Wear Jersey dresses ..... It's gonna be a great season for the Lakers #TeamLakers

@corleone843: be domestic, keep a good man, and not complain so much #thingswomendontdoanymore

@ayosGalore: #thingswomendontdoanymore chase guys. its the 21th century #cantbedoingthat

@ftwprez: #thingswomendontdoanymore give a fuck

@LadiSandraMaria: RT @SofysS: #thingswomendontdoanymore: love guys xD!

@vivalaria: RT @BrainsEatBeauty: #ThingsWomenDontDoAnymore ➜ Value our bodies. Stop treating yourselves like a public water fountain & letting everyone take a sip.

@Nonyizie: #thingswomendontdoanymore fall for cheap male tricks.... so sad...

@kwhitfield5: #thingswomendontdoanymore be honest.

@Fab44Me: RT @Fab44Me: #thingswomendontdoanymore Have respect for those of us who stay home to raise our kids and care for our men. Haters.

@JordanIgth: #thingswomendontdoanymore WEAR THERE OWN HAIR.

@HigherGreen: #ThingsWomenDontDoAnymore - cook dinner for they man because they too busy being LAME by watching BGC

Paramore_Rocks #thingswomendontdoanymore be more classy...now days girls are showing too much skin. What happened girls?



Other than the obviously bad spelling, grammer and thought behind the comments, how freaking scary was that???

The Positives.

phased_bemused Get legally raped within marriage, since 1991

LadyNewsNZ have to listen to rules about what women should and shouldn't do

BiscuitCIB have to listen to arbitrary and outdated ideals of femininity, gender performance, sexuality and bodily autonomy

@YoFace_MyLap: Why would we?
In response to...
RT @cassius_cash: #thingswomendontdoanymore allow a nigga to experience a ike and tina relationship wit em

@radioactivejen: make men sandwiches because we discovered it's degrading. That is, unless we REEEEEEALLY like them.

@Jay_Says_: The #thingswomendontdoanymore are mainly because of the #thingsmendontdoanymore...

@iStreetLight: #thingswomendontdoanymore: Wouldn't it be rather sexist/patriarchal of me to include ALL women into such a narrow group?

@PickledBananas4 The #thingswomendontdoanymore trend on twitter is about 95% misogynist whining and 5% interesting.

@scuba_nurse #thingswomendontdoanymore put up with BS expectations of what women 'should' do. Instead living fullfilling livesof their own.