Auckland Libraries brings the Fun!!

Keen to see the library buildings used for more than just reading and storage? Want to take back your local library with an event that makes you THINK?

Join Auckland Libraries as they question, challenge and celebrate sex and sexuality on the page, stage and screen with a special series of thought-provoking events for over-18s.

Dark night celebrates diversity across the borders of gender, sexual identity, and sexual orientation. I for one would love a strong feminist group in the audience, especially for the Thursday night panel, and the Dark Night cabaret, where audience input have the capacity to mould the tone of the evening.

The events are as follows, further info can be found at the Auckland Libraries Website.

I will see you there! - Scube.

Shame, a film.

Academy Cinema (next to Auckland city Library)

8pm Friday 21^st June

Auckland Library's events series "Dark night" launches with a special screening of Shame, a portrait of sex addiction starring Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan. Introduced beforehand by a panel discussion with psychologist Dr. Pani Farvid.
Price $10 or $16 - including a drink. Book online at www.academycinemas.co.nz 

Shelley Munro

Wednesday 26 June, 6pm
Leys Institute, Ponsonby
Join erotic romance author Shelley Munro in conversation.

The new erotica?

Central City Library, Whare Wananga, Level 2

800hrs Thursday 27^th June.
From Fifty shades of grey to erotic fan fiction and the new burlesque, how has erotica changed at the dawn of the 21st century? A panel discussion with Dylan Horrocks, Sam Orchard, Karen Tay, and Tosca Waerea


Dark Night Cabaret

Grey Lynn Library

8pm Friday 28th June.

A night of sultry, saucy cabaret that includes burlesque performers and Fringe Festival stars, alongside frank explorations of sex and sexuality in fact and fiction.
Scuba Nurse will be Hosting the Q&A section of the night with the answers to all those sticky questions... If you would like to submit a question - go to Twitter and use the hash tag #DarkNight or drop the auckland library a line on Facebook.

Call Grey Lynn Library to book on (09) 374 1314.

The article I wish could have been in cleo/cosmo/dolly etc when I was 17.

“Be the best he’s ever had”
“Ten tricks to make him want you forever”
“20 things men wish you knew about sex”
“Give him the sex he craves”
“Just do this on date one”
“Be cocksure” (I couldn’t make this up if I tried! - Nov 04 edition of Cosmo.)

Good grief ladies! What the hell must you be thinking?
Whereas in the real world we get asked to pull our heads out of our own asses in order to realise what is going on around us, it seems that in the “women’s interest” media we need to pull our head out of our partner’s ass in order to realise what is going on.

Come on out, it’s ok. Come on... You aren’t going to find anything useful up there; you may as well come out and learn something.

There is one simple fact of importance here, and that is that no one’s life should revolve around pleasing someone else 24/7, and after 124 years of publications (albeit not all of those were as focused on sex) Cosmo *still* seems to have missed the point.

If you want to please someone else, make yourself happy first.

So let’s try a new title line
“If you want to impress them in bed – start by impressing yourself.”

As an unhappy, unfulfilled person walking through this life, any good you do others will stink of martyrdom if you overlook your own fulfilment and joy.
No one wants a hospice nurse who looks like they wish they were dead, no one wants a home care helper who can’t crack a smile, and no one wants a childcare worker who doesn’t enjoy children’s company.

And no one wants a martyr in bed!

It doesn’t matter how many mags we read with info on how to please someone else. It doesn’t matter how perfect our technique is. No matter how experienced or inexperienced, or how firm or wobbly we are, no one wants sex to be just about them.
If it is only going to be about one person you may as well just masturbate. You get exactly what you want when you want it. You save on the effort of dating and don’t have to deal with messy things like feelings and personalities.

But sex isn’t like that. It’s about testing boundaries, as well as enjoying the same old stuff.
It’s about feeling someone else enjoy your body, and knowing they love seeing you having fun.
It’s NOT 60 positions in 60 minutes, and impressing other people whether you like it or not.

So for goodness sakes slow down.

Wait to have your first time with someone else, until you have had your first time with yourself.
Guys are perfectly open about masturbation and they seem to be quite comfortable with letting people know what they need, want, and like, in bed.
Women don’t really talk about it, and can sometimes remain a mystery and that in itself is an enigma. It doesn’t help us, and it sure doesn’t help our partners.
The only time keeping what you want and need a secret is going to work out well is if you are in a lesbian relationship with someone with the EXACT same tastes and needs as you.
Good luck finding that!

So figure out what you like, how you like it, and what works for you, without even involving another person.
That way when you do get around to letting someone else into your sphere of sexual experience, they don’t have to play guessing games that are set up for them to lose.

Have fun, and remember; if you are enjoying yourself... chances are your partner is too.