Tuesday, August 31, 2010

NZ Home Safety Week. Cause for alarm or laughter?

Thanks to ACC a handy reminder that it is Home Safety Week.

I had to have a bit of a laugh at the web-site, whoever was in charge of editing clearly didn’t aim it at those already at home.
In the “Families” section these were the suggestions…

Encourage Safety At Home
There are plenty of things an organisation can do to motivate your colleagues and customers to take an interest in safety at home. Here's a few:
• Make home safety an agenda item for team meetings
• Put a poster on your message boards
• Put a home safety message on your staff payslips each month/week
• If you buy your employees a Christmas present make it home safety item such
as a non-slip bath mat or fire extinguisher

I would love it if I got paid to be my own cleaner.
On the other hand, I would NOT love a non-slip mat for my Christmas present, so perhaps this should go in the “businesses” section

On re-reading I realized the advice was so workers would GO HOME and sort things out.
But why not just have clear advice and ideas for people who already work at home, as a home office or as parents?

By the way – pay slips is two words, not one.

On the upside, there is a lot of great info, and it is all relevant and important.
People would do well to worry less about sharks and flying and more about ladders, uneven carpets, and watching the stove while cooking.

If you have kids who like clicking the computer mouse the “Danger Rangers” Game is very cute and quite engaging. Turn the sound down for your own sanity though!

For your Home Safety Entertainment I present (drum roll please)


Top tips to avoid falls and alcohol injuries at home

1. Wet bathroom floors are slippery, so use the bathroom mat to wipe up by skating around on it on one foot yelling Weeeeee… as you do it.

2. Ladders can tip easily, so make someone you are not that attached to do the high up stuff (mother in law perhaps?)

3. Polished floors can be like ice rinks, so make the most of it.

4. Stairs you can’t see can be dangerous.Open eyes while having sex on them

5. Chairs are for sitting on, not standing on. If you need to reach up high, use a mother in law.

6. Cords can become tripwires, so use them to set up ambushes for possible burglars or unwanted guests.

7. Glass doors and windows are hard to see, so clean them well, grab a beer and a comfortable seat, and enjoy watching girl guide biscuit sellers, Mormons, and insurance sales people hit them at speed.

8. Nothing ruins a party like an injured mate, so provide a room to put them in, so people don’t have to watch them bleed or complain.

9. Don’t let your guests get smashed and injure themselves – get them drunk enough that they roll easily if they fall.

10. An addition of my own. Don’t over-fill the bath with toys, choose just one favorite, such as the toaster, and keep the bath free of clutter.

PS I’ve done this to highlight home safety, and have a bit of a laugh, not to be mean to the ACC people. Enjoy the humor and for real advice visit the real site!!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Homocide victims are not the only people who suffer.

The reason I have chosen to write about the issue of support for the families of homicide victims is that the mother of Liberty Templeman is raising the fact that the family members of homicide victims have even more to deal with than the usual grief and funereal logistics that tie up your life when you lose a family member to natural causes, or even accidental death.
She would like to see up to three months paid leave for those family members effected by violent loss.

I am not undermining the overwhelming grief that accompanies the loss of a friend or loved one, but I want to highlight how much more complex the process of “getting over it” must be when people have to also navigate the farce we like to call our Justice system.

Goodness knows they could use a helping hand to support them through the extra time needed.
This is not just me being a bleeding heart liberal; the logistics of a suspicious death are complex.
• Waiting for the body to be released so you can have the funeral.
• Bereavement being interrupted for questioning.
• The court process, time needed for the case, and preparation for the case.
• The possibility of it being a family member or friend under investigation (Nearly half of all homicides in New Zealand are family violence.)

On that note, would the paid leave still be given for those people whos partner had caused the death if they were not technically an accomplice? eg abused children.
This is a heavy and heated topic and as a Paediatic nurse I had to fight the RAGE that surged through me watching a family praying over the battered body of a baby beaten by one of them.

Please read on for what we are currently doing for the families of victims, and feel free to leave messages, I like to hear different opinions when voiced politely.

In 1985 NZ signed the united nations signed the UN Declaration of Basic Principles of justice for Victims of crime and abuse of power which urged member states to reconsider the victim and casting new light on the victims’ perspective.

The declaration identified four areas of assistance.
• Access to justice and fair treatment, where judicial and administrative process insures victims are kept informed and proceedings are heard appropriately and expeditiously.
• Ensure victims have adequate information and access to services, requiring the appropriate training of personnel.
• Restitution to individuals and families, restoration of the environment and restitution by governments.
• Compensation to individuals and/or families for bodily injury or impairment to physical and mental health.

The four tenants of the declaration form the basis of the victim support mission statement: Victims of crime, accident and emergency are well supported, safe and in control of restoring their lives.

NZ played an important role in the UN declaration- yet we currently don’t fulfill the international obligations towards the victims that we signed up to.

Since then, moves have been made in the right direction.
On 16 October 2009, Hon Simon Power, Minister of Justice announced eight new initiatives that will provide additional support to victims of serious crime. These initiatives are funded from revenue generated from the offender levy and funding from the disestablished Sentencing Council. Below is a summary of the initiatives taken from the NZ courts website.
Additional support for families of homicide victims
Four of the initiatives provide additional support to families of homicide victims.

Funeral grant top-up
The first initiative provides an additional amount of up to $4,570.08 to families of homicide victims to help pay for costs associated with their family member's funeral. This additional amount is on top of the $5,429.92 that these families can currently claim from ACC for funeral costs. This initiative began in November 2009 and is administered by a subsidiary of ACC on behalf of the Ministry of Justice.

Assistance to attend High Court
The second initiative provides financial assistance to support families of homicide victims to attend High Court proceedings. The grant supports up to five adult family members of a homicide victim to attend High Court proceedings involving the alleged offender at a rate of $124 per day, per person. This initiative began in January 2010 and is administered by the Victim Support service.

Homicide support service

The third initiative establishes a homicide support service. This service provides practical and emotional support to families of homicide victims throughout the criminal justice process. The service began in July 2010 and will be managed by Victim Support.

Increase in discretionary grant
The fourth initiative increases the 'discretionary grant for families of homicide victims suffering financial difficulties' from $1,500 to $5,000. The eligibility criteria for the grant was also expanded. Victim Support continues to administer the grant and the funding increase began in November 2009.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Do you want a raise, or maybe just become another middle management douch?

Thanks to the hard work of the women in previous generations we no longer have to look at stupid ads playing on our fears and insecurities in relationships. – Please enjoy the following selection for your viewing amusement and/or sadness.

So as I was saying, Women are out there, in the world, liberated, working, playing and living as equals. Leaps and bounds ahead of the previous drivel right?

However, every now and again advertisers step away from the mundane world of bikini babes and beer and try and step into our world of liberation and try and SCREW IT UP.

This really makes me mad.
By all means, hit the old stereotypes we haven’t won yet, but don’t come onto my professional turf and shit on the lawn, thank you very much.

This charming ad was sent to me by a friend in the states, apparently it ran in the USA’s Women’s Weekly mag.

Among some more helpful tips, number one on the list of "How To Ask For A Raise," is this advice:
"It should start with your usual routine and all the things you do to feel your best, including showering with Summer's Eve Feminine Wash or throwing a packet of Summer's Ever Feminine Cleansing Cloths into your bag for a quick freshness pick-me-up during the day."

A little bit of Wiki history on douching etc…

In the late 1920s Lysol disinfectant began being marketed by maker Lysol, Incorporated and distributor Lehn & Fink, Inc. as a feminine hygiene product. They intimated that vaginal douching with a Lysol solution prevented infections and vaginal odor, and thereby preserved marital bliss. This Lysol solution was also used as a birth control agent, as post-coital douching was a popular method of preventing pregnancy at that time. The use of Lysol was later discouraged by the medical community as it tended to eliminate the bacteria normal to the healthy vagina, thus allowing more robust, health-threatening bacteria to thrive, and may have masked more serious problems that certain odors indicated in the first place...
In the US, from around 1930 to 1960, vaginal douching with a Lysol disinfectant solution was the most popular form of birth control. US marketing ads printed testimonials from European "doctors" touting its safety and effectiveness. The American Medical Association later investigated these claims. They were unable to locate the cited "experts" and found that Lysol was not effective as a contraceptive.
So basically it was a cleaning product marketed to solve all those tricky lady issues like smell and babies. Perfectly convenient except for the latter problem it just blatantly didn’t work, and for the former the argument is still raging as to whether it does more harm than good.

So specific to this ad rather than the products themselves; what the hell were they thinking?
The funniest bit for me is the fact that number 7 is as follows…

Don’t get too personal.
Good advice.
Slightly undermined by the fact that they in the first instance suggested that your boss might be sniffing around your undercarriage at some point.

For the final part of my rant I’d like to mention that most vaginas are perfectly happy with a daily wash of the OUTSIDE (the vulva) with some kind of mild soap and water.
Washing the inside can be harmful (see below) and if there are any offensive smells they can be signs of ill health and should not be masked and ignored, but taken to the doc to get checked and treated.

For anyone who has come to this site due to an ill-targeted Google search on Douching please find the following info courtesy of the College of Family Physicians of Canada

Is vaginal discharge normal?
Yes. Glands inside your vagina and cervix (the opening to the uterus, or womb) make small amounts of fluid. This fluid flows out of the vagina each day, carrying out old cells that have lined the vagina. This is your body's way of keeping your vagina healthy and clean. The discharge is usually clear or milky and doesn't smell bad.

The colour and thickness of the discharge changes with your monthly cycle. The discharge is thicker when you ovulate (when one of your ovaries releases an egg), when you breastfeed or when you're sexually excited. During your period, menstrual blood mixes with the discharge.

What changes may be a sign of a problem?
Changes that may signal that something is wrong include an increase in the amount of discharge, a change in the colour or smell of the discharge, and irritation, itchiness or burning in or around your vagina. This is called vaginitis. A discharge that's stained with blood when you're not having your period could also be a sign of a problem. These signs may need to be checked by your doctor.

What may cause these changes?
These changes can occur if the normal balance of healthy bacteria in your vagina is upset. Many things can disturb the balance of a healthy vagina, including douching, feminine hygiene sprays, certain soaps or bubble baths, antibiotics, diabetes, pregnancy, infections, aging and intercourse.

Why is douching harmful?
The chemicals in douches may irritate your vagina and change the normal balance of healthy bacteria in your vagina. Douching can also spread an infection into the uterus, increasing your risk of getting pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID is an infection of the fallopian tubes that can cause you to be unable to have children.

Douching isn't needed to be clean. Smells you may notice often come from outside the vagina (vulva). Keeping this area clean with gentle soap and water can prevent smells. See tips on cleanliness.

Tips on cleanliness
Bathe or shower regularly and pat your genital area dry.
After using the toilet, always wipe from front to back. This may help prevent
getting bacteria from your rectal area into your vagina.
Avoid feminine hygiene sprays. These sprays may cause allergic reactions.
If you feel you must use a spray, limit how often you use it and avoidspraying it into your vagina.

Don't douche.

Avoid coloured or perfumed toilet paper, deodorant pads or tampons, and bubble bath.

Be sure to remove any tampons you use. A forgotten tampon or pieces of a tampon can be irritating.

What is a yeast infection?
Small amounts of yeast fungus are often found in a healthy vagina. But if too much grows, it can cause a yeast infection, or vaginal candidiasis. Possible signs of yeast infections are listed in the box to the right.

Yeast infections usually aren't caught from a sex partner. You may be more likely to get a yeast infection if you use antibiotics, are pregnant, have diabetes, or stay hot and sweaty for long periods. Some women get frequent yeast infections for no obvious reason. Yeast infections aren't harmful, but they can be painful and itchy. Yeast infections are usually treated a cream that you put into your vagina with a special plunger or a pill called a suppository that you insert into your vagina. Medicines in a cream form can be used on your vulva to help relieve the itching on the outside.

Signs of yeast infections
White, cottage cheese-like discharge, especially inside, on the walls of your vagina
Swelling and pain outside your vagina, on the vulva
Intense itching
Painful intercourse
Burning when urinating (peeing)
What is bacterial vaginosis?
Bacterial vaginosis is usually caused by Gardnerella vaginalis bacteria. Why some women get this infection isn't clear. It's probably not caught from a sex partner. Sometimes, women with bacterial vaginosis can develop PID or have an abnormal Pap smear. Possible signs are listed below. Bacterial vaginosis is treated with antibiotic medicine, usually a pill, available through a prescription from your doctor.

Signs of bacterial vaginosis
A white, gray or yellowish vaginal discharge
A fishy odor that is strongest after sex or after washing with soap
Itching or burning
Slight redness and swelling of the vagina or vulva

Signs of trichomoniasis
A watery, yellowish or greenish bubbly discharge
An unpleasant odor
Pain and itching when urinating
Most apparent after your period

What is trichomoniasis?
Trichomoniasis, also called "trich," is caused by an organism called Trichomonas vaginalis. You can be infected but have no signs for a long time. Men who have trichomoniasis rarely have any signs. Possible signs of trichomoniasis in women are listed above.

Trichomoniasis is usually caught by having sex without a condom with some who has trichomoniasis. It can get into your urinary tract and cause a urinary infection. It's usually treated with antibiotic pills.

What about other infections?
Two sexually transmitted diseases, chlamydia and gonorrhea, can also cause vaginal discharge. These are infections of the cervix caused by bacteria. Sometimes the only symptom in women may be an increase of vaginal discharge. Chlamydia and gonorrhea often cause no symptoms at all in men. Both of these infections can be treated with antibiotic shots or pills.

Tips on preventing vaginitis
Wear cotton underpants during the day. Cotton allows your genital area to
"breathe." Don't wear underpants at night.
Avoid wearing tight pants, panty hose, swimming suits, biking shorts or leotards for long periods of time.
Change your laundry soap or stop using fabric softener if you think it may be irritating you.
The latex in condoms and diaphragms and the sperm-killing gels that are used for birth control can be irritating for some women. If you think one of these things is a problem for you, talk to your doctor about other types of birth control.
Avoid hot tubs.
When infected, avoid sex so that you and your partner won't pass the infection back and forth. If you do have sex, use a condom to help prevent the infection from spreading.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

“They think they can do anything to women” - By Maryam Namazie

Join 28 August action of 100 cities against stoning


Thanks so much for your support of the campaign to save Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani from death by stoning and execution. The public outcry is what has kept her alive so far. When her 22 year old son Sajjad first wrote an open letter asking people everywhere to intervene there was no legal recourse left and she was to face imminent death by stoning for ‘adultery.’

In another letter written a few days ago, Sajjad reiterates Ashtiani’s innocence and says:
‘What sort of justice is this?’

The Islamic regime in Iran is doing everything it can to kill Ashtiani and push back the international campaign. The regime has harassed her children and put pressure on Ashtiani, most recently, forcing her to ‘confess’ on Iranian state television to having murdered her husband and committed adultery. [You can see the footage on Iranian State TV in Persian here, which also criticises the International Sakineh Day we had organised:

As her other lawyer Houtan Kian has said she was tortured into making the false ‘confession.’ He has recently provided detailed and new information on her case: here. This follows evidence provided at the 30 July press conference in London by Mina Ahadi of the International Committees against Execution and Stoning which revealed actual court documents showing Ashtiani’s sentence to death by stoning for adultery.

The regime had also arrested the wife, brother-in-law and father-in-law of her human rights lawyer, Mohammad Mostafaei. They were subsequently released whilst Mostafaei was forced to flee the country in order to evade arrest. [He is now safe in Norway.]

They have even handed over her case for ‘review’ to deputy prosecutor-general Saeed Mortazavi, known as the butcher and torturer of Tehran
As Ashtiani has said herself in an interview “The answer is quite simple, it’s because I’m a woman, it’s because they think they can do anything to women in this country”

On 28 August 2010 – come out in 100 cities against stoning to show that the regime cannot to anything it wants to women. You can find out more about the events taking place on 28 August below and on how to organise your own event.

Join us! This must be the beginning of the end of stonings in the 21st century. And it must save Ashtiani’s precious life and reunite her with her beloved children.

Warmest wishes


Maryam Namazie
Iran Solidarity Spokesperson
0044 7719166731


1- Join a 100 cities against Stoning on 28 August 2010: You can find out about events taking place in a city near you on this list.

2- Find out more about how to organise your own event here:
3- Join a forum for organisers of events and to raise questions and make comments:

4- Send Sakineh a postcard of the city you live in or are visiting this summer telling her you are thinking of her and other prisoners on death row in Tabriz prison. You can address it to:
Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani
Tabriz Prison
Tabriz, Iran

5- Write letters of protest to the Islamic regime of Iran demanding Ashtiani’s release and an end to stonings and executions. Protest letters can be addressed to the below:

Head of the Judiciary
Sadeqh Larijani
Howzeh Riyasat-e Qoveh Qazaiyeh (Office of the Head of the Judiciary)
Pasteur St., Vali Asr Ave., south of Serah-e Jomhouri
Tehran 1316814737, Iran
Email: info@dadiran.ir or via website: http://www.dadiran.ir/tabid/75/Default.aspx
First starred box: your given name; second starred box: your family name; third: your email address

Head of the Judiciary in East Azerbaijan Province
Malek-Ashtar Sharifi
Office of the Head of the Judiciary in Tabriz
East Azerbaijan, Iran

Sayed ‘Ali Khamenei
The Office of the Supreme Leader
Islamic Republic Street – Shahid Keshvar Doust Street
Tehran, Iran
Email: via website: http://www.leader.ir/langs/en/index.php?p=letter (English)
http://www.leader.ir/langs/fa/index.php?p=letter (Persian)

Secretary General, High Council for Human Rights
Mohammad Javad Larijani
Howzeh Riassat-e Ghoveh Ghazaiyeh
Pasteur St, Vali Asr Ave., south of Serah-e Jomhuri
Tehran 1316814737, Iran
Fax: +98 21 3390 4986
Email: bia.judi@yahoo.com

6- Sign petitions in support of her case if you haven’t already done so. Here are two of them: http://stopstonningnow.com/sakine/sakin284.php?nr=50326944&lang=en, http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_stoning/?cl=651962225&v=6766.

7- Write to government officials, heads of state, MEPs and MPs in your country of residence calling on them to intervene to save her life and to cease recognition of a regime that stones people to death in the 21st century. See Mina Ahadi’s recent letter to heads of states on this: http://stopstonningnow.com/wpress/?p=1694.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

James M. Kauffman's take on Leviticus...

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?

Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

My response to a hoax email.

I received an email from multiple sources and it only took me one news reference check and a phone call to establish it was a hoax... why do people not check references???

Below is the original email and my reply.

Know what money you are carrying! Or pay using Eftpos you will see why as you read!
Be sure every lady is aware of this. Share it with your wife and daughters. Know what money you are carrying!
Criminals are coming up with craftier, less threatening methods of attack, so we have to be extra cautious. Read on.

At approximately 5:15 a.m. I was on my way to work. I stopped at the Mobil Station Quay st City to get petrol.
I purchased $10 petrol and a Diet Coke. I took into the store two
$5 bills and four $1 coins (just enough to make my purchases ).

As I pulled away from the store, a man approached my car from the back side of the store (an unlit area). He was an approachable-looking' man (clean cut, clean shaven, dressed well, etc.). He walked up to my window and knocked. Since I'm very paranoid and 'always looking for the rapist or killer,' I didn't open the window I just asked what he wanted. He raised a $5 bill to my window and said, 'You dropped this.' Since I knew I had gone into the store with a certain amount of money, I knew
I didn't drop it.When I told him it wasn't mine, he began hitting the window and door, screaming at me to open my door, and insisting that I had dropped the money!

At that point, I just drove away as fast as I could. After talking to the Police at Auckland Central and spoke with Detective Kevin Hooper describing the man I saw, and the way he escalated from calm and polite to angry and volatile....it was determined that I could have possibly encountered the killer

Up to this point, it had been unclear as to how he had gained access to his victims, since there has been no evidence of forced entry into victim's homes, cars, etc and he is also the main suspect in the Stabbing case which took place in upmarket Remuera involving a 53 yo lady on March 26th , 2010.
And the fact that he has been attacking in the daytime, when women are less likely to have their guard up, means he is pretty BOLD.

So think about it...what gesture is nicer than returning money to someone that dropped it?????

How many times would you have opened your window (or door) to get your money and say thank you.... because if the person is kind enough to return something to you, then he can't really be a threat....can he????
Please be cautious! This might not have been the serial killer... but anyone that gets that angry over someone not accepting money from them, can't have honourable intentions. The most important thing to note is his reaction was! NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! A total surprise! But what might have happened if I had opened my door? I shudder to think!

Forward this to everyone you know...maybe they can be as fortunate as
I was!

P.S . Ladies, really DO forward this to EVERYONE you know Even if this
wasn't a serial killer, he looked nice, he seemed polite, he was
apparently doing an act of kindness, but HE WAS NOT A NICE PERSON!!!
Men send it to all the women in your life. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. Makeit a good one!
Please copy, paste and send this to anyone you think might benefit from this story.

And then my reply...

Thanks for the email regarding a first person account of an attack attempt at Quay Street Mobil.
In the email a man tries to trick a woman into opening her car door by saying she dropped money.
Please forward this email on to the person who originally sent you the email and anyone you may have forwarded it to...

The stabbing which is referenced here is written about on this news website here
The woman who died was stabbed by another woman (probably known to her).
Detective Kevin Hooper denies knowing about the case, and combined with the misinformation about the stabbing case I’m led to think the email is a hoax.
The safety message is no less valid, but statistically speaking NZ women are less safe in their own homes, or on a date than they are walking streets alone.
Some key things to remember.
As a woman in NZ you are more likely to experience sexual assault than a stabbing.

Stats according to rape crisis NZ are that
In 90% of reported rapes the attacker was known to the victim prior to the assault.
Breaking down that 90%...
31% blood relatives
25% friends or social contacts
13% partners or spouses
11% family related by marriage
8% dating partners
7% professionals (like doctors or teachers)
5% work colleagues.

So, teach your family that no matter how rude it is they can reject friendly advances if it feels bad. If hugging Uncle Joe makes you feel ‘yucky’ you don’t have to. Listening to your own feelings of discomfort about someone is a skill we tend to suppress.

Final point.
You can’t always spot the bad guy, or girl.
It is NEVER the victims fault – rape is not a crime of sex, but aggression.
Women and men get assaulted at all ages, all looks, and all types of dress.

PS - Most service stations have security cameras up the Waazoo and lockable doors which make them a great “safe house” to call for help, or a ride if you are ever stranded.