Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Not bad for a bunch of internet perverts.

A little over 2 years ago my mum looked concerned at the idea I was meeting a few women for brunch who I had met on the internet. It wasn’t a date; it was just likeminded people, meeting for coffee, because we had got along really well on twitter.
Mum’s train of thought was that only perverts talk to strangers on the internet, how do you know they are really nice ladies, and not creepy dudes? And also, don’t you have REAL friends?
Mum is an accountant. Say no more. < note to self: insert smiley here in case mum reads this>

My train of thought was; these people are AMAZING, and we are so similar. I’ve spent most of my life feeling like the “odd one out”*, why would I walk away from the chance to find like-minded people?
So I went to coffee. I went to brunches. I went to tweet ups, to movies, and music in parks. I helped start an Auckland Feminist meet-up, We started a pub quiz group. I met the most amazing people. People, who don’t like bars, people who don’t like crowds. People I wouldn’t have met any other way, than through friends, or online.

These people were My People. They were Good People. They were broken, and ill and strong and opinionated. They were different ages, and stages of their journey. We didn’t all immediately click, and there were admittedly a few, who once I met them, I realised we weren’t so well matched after all. But mostly, this weird space on the internet that my mother was convinced was full of perverts was a gold mine.
These were my kind of “perverts”.

These perverts had the same kinks as me. It was like being on a platonic dating site full of witty, smart people who cared about the world they inhabited. Who took action for change. These perverts were willing to do a lot of weird stuff with me (like helping the community).
Most recently, one of my favourite internet perverts – Jackie Clark, started calling some of us the #twitteraunties. It seemed at first glance that it was a bunch of friends who enjoyed meddling in each other’s lives and being shoulders for each other. Then things stepped up to another level and the #auntymafia was born. These were Good People who might not even live in the same place, but were willing to come together to make a difference.
Last night some of the Aunty Mafia came together to coordinate, wrap and deliver food, presents, packages, technology collected for Te Whare Marama o Mangare women’s refuge. This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. We had been meeting to discuss how to help, and the job seemed almost do-able by us on a small scale. We came up with a small plan, and Jackie took it to twitter and started asking for help. For some reason this captured people. They loved it, and wanted to help. Donations and food and gifts flooded in, people involved their corporations that they had links to, and networked among community groups. With enough strong backs, and loving helpers, we were able to harness all the resources available. It wasn’t small scale at all. What Jackie had started was small. What she had grown was HUGE.


I found last night overwhelming for a bunch of reasons. Partly because it felt like an honour, that at what could be one of the roughest times in someone’s life, we were able to make a difference. Partly because for every enthusiastic smile there, ten more people had contributed to the gifts and food we were wrapping. This was bigger than anything I’ve been so closely involved in, and although part of me was overwhelmed, a small voice was proudly chirping up in the back of my head…
“Not bad for a bunch of perverts off the internet”.

Thank you. Thank you all.


Further reading:
Jackie has a lovely thank you at her blog, acknowledging the sheer number of people involved, and saying thanks better than I have words for.






 
* My old friends are amazing, but we are united by love of each other and lives together, not similarities.
 

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Hand Mirror and I.



I was invited to write over at the hand mirror!!
The thought process in my head was quite interesting...
“The hand mirror? But... they are real bloggers”
“I can’t write well enough/frequently enough/ politically enough”
“What if they don’t like my writing after a while?”
“Oh my god, I can’t write with a group, I’m TERRIBLE at cooperating”
“Why is my chest hurting?”
Ok - I’m joking about the last one, but I was pretty wound up!

Until now, I have never really considered working with a group blog. I started writing to have a creative outlet for myself. I carried on because I love it, it makes me more aware of current events, my thinking and understanding of the world around me is evolving, and I have met some AWESOME people. The people who come to comment are most welcome and appreciated, but I almost resent the fact that I have to think about the readers before I click post. This is for me dammit!

If it was just about getting along with people, having a drink and writing a pro-choice banner, I could blog with any group of the women I follow on twitter and I would love to write with everyone I admire, but it isn’t as simple as that.

I asked for a wee bit of time to consider things because as honoured as I was, I did have a lot to think through.
Does what I write reflect on the other bloggers?
Does what they write impact on my (admittedly already shite) image?
Do I have to stand by any key concepts beyond equality and human rights?

It seems really simple to have a group of like-minded people all sharing a space but it really isn’t.
I don’t want to be edited or moderated.
I want control over my own article’s commenting, and I do not want the responsibility of moderating anyone else’s.
I don’t want to police anyone else’s politics, and I don’t want mine changed or muted.
If I get myself in a pickle and people are mad at me, I don’t expect the group to support me, and if someone else gets their foot in their mouth and I don’t agree with what they have done, I don’t want to have to be their support crew just because we share a space.
(Demanding bitch eh?)
Tricky stuff all round.
I love reading the hand mirror because they often raise questions I haven’t thought of. They keep me up to date with feminist news and issues. They provide a community of bloggers with their blog role and busy comment sections and I love finding new gems in there.
The key element I admire about the hand mirror is the fact that each writer is different, and they don’t always have the same opinion or stance on something.
And they don’t expect each other to.

That’s why I said yes.*


*Disclaimer – I will still be writing here, this is my home and I have grown proud of it – leaks and all.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

People who make my day.


On the right hand side of this blog you will notice a list called "Groovyness that I follow", it is of other blogs.
If you haven’t already, please go and take a look at each of these.
For differing reasons they are the people who make my day when there is a new posting up on their site.
Most of them make me laugh, all of them make me think, and each and every time they write I feel a little stronger in my hope that humanity will be ok after all.
Thanks for being an awesome support network people. You rocked my 2010 and I can’t wait to have you shine your light through my crappy winter times in 2011.

If you aren’t on the list, and I come write silly comments on your blog all the time, or we tweet back and forth, or you just think I would love what you do please leave a link in the comments section below.

And thanks again to the team!