Sorry, your shit is not the shit on my agenda to give a shit about today...

I snapped at someone yesterday...

Before I knew it they had mentioned to several people that I’m a meany.*
This was in the real world.
In bloggy blog land, while in the same mood I tend to tolerate fools less and write sharper responses to dim-witted or off topic responses to discussion points.
Consequently I come across as a bit of a ‘meany’ there too.

Next time someone snaps at you, pause, breath, and consider the fact that it might not actually be about you.
Unless they came into your space and started bullying you deliberately, there is a really high chance that it isn’t. Take it on the chin, and remember you are only one segment of their life.
Try asking if they are ok...
Chances are they will have a big melt down and need a cup of tea and you can go about your business feeling smug instead of a victim of some Meany!

Someone very close to me criticised me a few weeks ago about not being “caring” enough over someone’s breakup. I had made all the right noises, and was genuinely sad about said break-up; however the person I was talking to wasn’t actually involved, and had winged about the tragedy for over 30 minutes.
I had listened and then eventually pointed out that if someone isn’t in love any more, you can’t MAKE them stay with someone.
They got quite cross with me, and said I was selfish and hung up.
At the time I’d had news about one friend’s cancer, and another who had been admitted to hospital for unexplained cardiac issues aged only in his early 30’s.
I myself am quite busy with a big (non-work, so on top of my working day) time commitment which I spend roughly 4-5 hours at 5-6 days per week.
So at the very minimum I’m just plain tired.
At the biggest, I’m thinking about mortality, frightened of loosing yet more friends.
For me stressors are like wind, and once you get a few big ones you can’t hear anything outside the tornado swirling around you.
So I’m sorry if I can’t pull the right faces in response to a breakup/stressful day/ hole in your costume.
I can’t hear you over the storm in my head.

In conclusion;
Selfishness is an accusation from the perspective of someone else, concerned that they are not the centre of your universe.
And who’s selfish?


*Meany may not have been the exact term used.