To the most beautiful Girl in the world.
I admired photos of you in your hospital bassinette and wished your Mum still lived in NZ so I could hold you.
I doted on snippets of news about your development as your personality evolved.
Your first joke was as crap as mine, but your humour has developed to the most wonderful brilliant wit.
I love hearing about your school accomplishments and your plans for a future so full of potential.
You had us all wrapped around your little finger from the minute we met you.
And you still do.
This has nothing to do with how you look or looked.
Or your weight, BMI or size.
It was your charm, and brilliance, and exploration of the world around you that had us captivated.
More recently it is your constant seeking of learning, your hard work in your sport and fitness goals, and your clever humour.
Mostly it is your openness and the love that you return to ours.
That openness feels like it has slipped away a little...
Do you think that because you bake for those you love they don’t notice that you have stopped licking the bowl?
Do you think commenting on family member’s food choices so they feel inferior and judged is enough to stop the eventual loving questions about your health?
Do you think that I didn’t play the same games with food fads and claiming to be vegan to avoid notice that once you remove all the “disallowed ingredients” that there is nothing else left?
Do you think that wandering around eating fruit at meal times claiming not to be hungry enough to eat the meal then is enough for me not to notice that you never got around to eating that meal at all?
I know because I once was you. Developing quicker than I could cope with. Having to quit competitive swimming because my bust was so big it was a disability even though my weight was below acceptable levels
I had the same fears, dreams, hopes and I remember the terror of the worst thing that can possibly happen to a woman.
I pretty much qualify as overweight now.
And you know what?
It doesn’t matter.
I am as respected as I have ever been.
My career and finances are at a lifetime peak.
I have a wide ranging life and friendships.
I am in a long term relationship.
My weight does not limit my activity in sports, action adventure, dancing, sex, or socialisation.
When you strip it all away, the only person that it matters if it bothers is ME.
And it is my Choice to be bothered or not by it.
The sooner you stop judging your-self and others negatively by their diets and weight, the sooner you can embrace the stuff that DOES matter, and continue you development into the wonderful woman you will become.
You are right on the cusp of something big.
Choose your priorities and direction carefully because there is a fine line between “looking after yourself” and self harm.
I will always love you.
This video was found on Rachel Hansen’s site and I really admire the work she is doing as a mentor to young women. Thanks for your hard work Rachel.