Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Rock "Win a Wife" protest continues...

Wow, what a week!!

The official letter from the Ukrainian Embassy, progress with the protest, the harassment it brought us, and in exciting news - the competition is on hold!!

We await an official announcement at 5pm NZ time today. Fingers and toes are crossed.
We have had a hell of a job keeping the face book protest page.

I’m going to attach some pictures of the more hilarious comments we have received.
The more aggressive, or threatening posts were deleted in a hurry, and we didn’t think to take a picture until later. We are kicking ourselves, especially in the case of one of the radio employees who got outed and quickly went through and deleted his comments and vanished. Damn it!

First Up - the wonderful letter from the Ukrainian Embassy.

And some great comments on Twitter by Colin Mathura Jeffrey - due to the owner not wanting to be revealed her name has been covered.

Some seriously creepy images from the "endless love" dating agency.

Support from Harvey Norman

Why would people join our page, only to harass and belittle us?
Oh, because the “Win a wife – like it” page encouraged it.

And some abuse on our face book page on the topic of Win a Wife.

Hate speach and other charm on the 'pro win a wife' page.


  1. High five on fightin the good fight!

  2. I now have uber respect for the Sady Doyles and Melissa McEwans of this world who do this every freakin day. And we've been getting the lesser end of harrassment - no personal threats of violence.

    It boggles my mind that the harrassers can't see the link between breaching well defined boundaries in a safe space, and how that translate into having no respect for a woman's autonomy and consent. If they're willing to tromp all over a safe space on the internet, just what are they willing to do in meatspace?

  3. Thanks for detailing this Scuba Nurse. The hate-mongering has been truly disturbing. And reason enough to show that 'competitions' such as this have no place in our community.

  4. Wow, I haven't been on the page for a few days, blown away by some of those comments, actually it makes me very sad to be bringing up kids in this world. I wouldn't describe myself as a feminist at all, what I am is a human being. That's all it takes to realise this competition is wrong.

  5. Thank you so much for this. I knew the mods were facing some really nasty stuff, but ... wow. That is just incredibly sickening. As I have posted before, this is **precisely** why this fight is needed. Those sort of comments show exactly what sort of behaviour the competition generates and encourages.

    I've said it before and I will say it many many more times. My utmost respect to you all.

    My heart fills with love and pride for y'all.

    I want to send this link to everyone I know who has not yet joined the group - hell even if they have.

    Just wow.

    You know, it is almost funny. This is just like my other comment about how "free speech yadda yadda shut up". This is "All these haters yadda yadda [insert violent hate speech here]".

  6. Hah, I hope the announcement is about binning the contest. I got an abusive message from some douche the other day, simply for posting my support on your FB page. Something about getting a cleaner on the minimum wage and cheap hookers instead of a Kiwi partner...the stupid, it hurts. Anyway, good job and thanks for fighting the good fight.

  7. Some time ago, I changed my privacy settings so that only friends of friends could see anything or send me messages.

    After I saw some odd people I never knew popping up and making comments (all very nice, mind you) I decided my privacy settings needed tightening.

    It can be scary how easy you can find people. I once had some mail for someone else, and it was a present from overseas so I couldn't just return it.

    I tracked the person down to her workplace and gave her a call. She and her kids lived down the road from me. This bothered her a little as she had an unpleasant breakup with her husband and was trying not to be found.

    She was fine with what I did because of the reasons for it, and how I contacted her, but it is still scary just how easy it is for people to track you.

    Anybody can send me a friend request, but only friends can send me messages or see my wall, or my friends.

    At least I hope so. Damned work - can't see Facebook here to check.

    Anybody want to try and find me? :-)

    I really hope there wasn't an increase in personal attacks after my post - I was really worried about people getting the idea to do it.

    Which is why we need to be extra vigilant if the contest is going to be cancelled. There will be some very angry people out there who will try to attack us.

    And sadly, when I say "us", it will probably be "you". After all, this is just a bunch of women. Mind you - I don't know if any of the offensive posts you blocked targeted any of the good men commenting. Scube - were there any like that?

    I just wonder about those "people" who regard women as inferior yet seem perfectly willing to attack them, but not the "superior" men.

  8. Sorry for the second post - just seen it. They've changed the name of the competition. Dunno how many times we have said it is not just the name.

    And still no apology or even awareness that harm has been caused by their actions.

  9. I often wonder sometimes with online activism, how many of the legions of trolls out there would be saying these things to the face of the people they're attacking? There seems to be something about the anonymity of the internet which allows people to be the most extreme, bigoted, repulsive versions of themselves...

  10. You are an absolute star managing this campaign. I "liked" the page last week and have been watching progress. It is frightening to me how hateful and debased so many of the responses have been. How completely illiterate and ignorant most of the abusers are. You are having a great impact, and all of you have come across as calm, compassionate, articulate and highly insightful. You give me hope in a society that seems to go further downhill by the minute, fueled by politicians and media who consistently appear to appeal to the lowest common denominator. You deserve a medal for your perseverance over the last week and I, for one, am so grateful for your courage and determination. Thank you.

  11. p.s. My husband and 24-year old stepson are both equally appalled by The Rock.

  12. Thanks so much guys.
    These comments mean more than you will ever know.
    I went for dinner tonight and described how I was feeling as "Like I had been kicked in the stomach."
    The mockery of a name change felt like nothing but an insult, the harrasment reached a peak this afternoon, and a russian friend of mine joined the rock's support group.
    Considering as teens we sat together and watched in sadness as her home economy collapsed and her friends looked to prostitution I just dont Freaking get it!
    So as I said, your words mean so much. Imagine one woman being held up by many, so much stonger than she could stand alone.
    Thank you.

  13. I've just gone and taken a look at the 5pm announcement (yes, at an unholy hour of the morning... insomnia). I'm gobsmacked. The sheer cynicism of it is breathtaking.

    You've been doing a brilliant job, ScubaNurse, along with Rachel who set up the Facebook page, and Boganette, and Pickled Think. I've not had the space to do anything other than cheer from the sidelines (new job, house, schools..). I so hope that the Rock loses listeners and advertisers over this.

  14. Dammit, Scube. When I got to your "Imagine one woman being held up by many" I started to cry. :-)

    It makes me feel incredible that so many people can come together like this with a common vision, and in the face of so much hate, still stand strong.

  15. Scube,

    I understand the disappointment you have in the people that do not support your cause.
    I do not condone the people that send personal abuse and insults as they have no ability to form an argument themselves. They just choose to jump on the band wagon and be angry at you just for the sake of being angry at someone. I understand how hard it must be to stand in the life on fire… However, if you really have that much of an issue with me supporting the other cause, I would have appreciated you talking to be directly, rather than blogging about it…
    People have different opinions, life experience, expectations, and values. Life in Ukraine is really not that bad. I have a half sister there, who seems to be doing alright for herself and her family, without being a mail order bride. There are opportunities for females both in Ukraine and Russia to make an honest living, whether they choose to take them or not it is up to them. Some use the opportunities to take the easy way.
    I’m not saying that human trafficking is not happening, because it is. But those girls are not on websites, they do not have a dating profile. That is what feminists should be trying to stop. Not the Rock competition that is giving away a trip to Ukraine and an opportunity…

  16. Thanks for your insight anon.
    The friend in question was asked if she would give her point of view by email or phone, but is really busy with some very cool stuff right now that I respect. I was asked to wait until march.
    And I will.
    Best of luck with everything
    Kind regards

  17. Scube - I just realised something.

    With the deleted posts, can't FB retrieve them?

    I would have thought that deletion never really means delete, and that FB will have a cached version on one of their servers.

  18. No doubt, but there would have to be a very good reason to ask.
    I'm not concerned unless it elevates. These muppets seem to be prett spineless- all talk no action.
    Thanks for the thought.

  19. For me, personally, if any good could be said to have come from the competition it is that it has galvinised me to do more to make a change.

    I mean I have always known enough about privilege, rape culture and the marginalisation of various groups to argue a point when they are raised, but I think what this has done for me is drive me to be far more pro-active.

    And a lot of that comes down to the work you and the others have done here. So thank you.

    I am trying to set up my own blog (still figuring out how to even begin) in the hope that I can help spread some degree of awareness.

  20. You're awesome Scube. Don't forget that. Wish I could help you but since some Rock thug reported me on FB I've been deleted! Oh well. I will try to help from afar.

  21. I love that letter from the Ukranian Ambassador! Thanks to all of you for your hard work!

  22. Hi there. We are having a similar contest in Edmonton, Alberta. Check out the link for more information.

    Re. Win a Russian Romance - An Open Letter to Rob Vavrek, Brand Manager of 100.3 The Bear:

  23. Win a Russian Wife
    Re. Win a Russian Romance - An Open Letter to Rob Vavrek, Brand Manager of 100.3 The Bear:


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